Page 21 of Lasting Hope

"Paisley, I'm so sorry for your loss. We're doing everything we can to find out who's behind this," Carmen said, any amount of fatigue in her voice being replaced with determination. "The arrangements for Doug and the support for his family have been taken care of. We’re going to make sure they have everything they need in this really difficult time. Also, it's now a homicide investigation and the police are heavily involved. We're pursuing promising leads based on the full picture now. It’s no longer a mix of jurisdiction problems or anyone writing this off as a problem that will go away. The level of organization and involvement will speed things up.”

Paisley's impatience was evident as she rushed out her question. “Leads? Something that will actually give you answers? I appreciate what you’re doing but it’s still not going to just all come together now that Doug is dead. We’ve lost so much time with people not taking this seriously. It’s still going to take forever.”

Carmen tried to temper Paisley’s expectations while providing reassurance. "It's hard to say. These investigations take time. Even if we identify someone or a group of people, building a case will require evidence. There’s a process. We can't rush if we want to really make sure we get it right. The one thing I learned in this job, and in personal experience, is the justice system has significant limitations. It’s why we exist here. So when it’s time to turn it all over to them, we need to have everything solid.”

Frustration seeped into Paisley’s voice as she asked, “What about catching them in the act? Isn’t that better? You can’t really dispute your guilt if there is hard evidence. And it’ll certainly make the process go faster, right?”

Carmen sighed, understanding Paisley’s desire for immediate justice. “In our organization, safety is always the priority. I know where you are going with this, but it’s incredibly dangerous. We don’t use people as bait. We focus on building a strong case to ensure justice is served while making sure the people in danger are securely protected. Catching them in the act is too risky.”

Paisley couldn’t be deterred. “You understand how crazy this is right? How I have to step out of my life, not mourn my friend because these people want me dead. Hiding away feels like dying right now. You can’t possibly believe this is the only way.”

Carmen’s response seemed honest and personal. Ben didn’t know her whole story but he knew Carmen had wrestled with her own demons about right and wrong. She’d also hidden away for years. Missing time with both her sisters and giving up the normal aspects of her life.

“I know exactly what it feels like. I left without a word to my family. My younger sisters were convinced I had abandoned them. That I didn’t want to see them or anyone else back home. I stayed away for years. Then even after I had the chance to go back, I couldn’t seem to. I was obsessed with the idea that I’d been gone too long. That there was nothing left for me. It’s a complicated situation, knowing someone wants you dead and having to give up everything to make sure they can’t accomplish that. But the alternative is I’m not where I am today. Which is alive and well, reconnected with my sisters and doing work I believe in.”

“The rules,” Paisley scoffed. “You can’t just apply all the same things to every situation. There have to be other ways.”

Carmen obviously wanted to give Paisley something to hold on to without creating more problems for her. “I’ve broken a few rules in the past. I understand the urge for vigilante justice. I tried it. When Gloria Kinross died, I was thrust back into the world and had no idea what I was doing. I thought I might help people in a different way. Exactly what you’re saying. There was a very dangerous man who kept getting away with violent behavior. Before he could find another victim, I tried a new way to catch him.”

“What did you do?”

“I dated him. Or pretended to. I knew his whole deal. How he found women, love-bombed them, then turned into a monster. I was ready for it. I was going to catch him in the act. Make it impossible for him to keep lying to everyone.”

“What happened?” Paisley asked breathlessly.

“Exactly what you would imagine. Exactly what Gloria knew would happen when she created her organization and all the rules that govern it. It led me down a dark path, and it almost cost me my life. The Kinross organization has protocols so that one person and their pain doesn’t get to dictate how things are done. Because those emotions lead to deadly consequences. Sometimes risks pay off, but we can’t gamble with your life.”

Ben watched as Paisley’s back stiffened, the resolve in her expression deepening. “Am I a prisoner here at Cinderhill? If not, I want to leave. I need to go to Doug’s funeral. I need to talk to his parents. If someone comes for me there, I’ll have to face that. I’m not hiding anymore and giving them the power.”

Carmen made one final attempt to dissuade her. “Doug wouldn’t want you in harm’s way, would he?”

“Doug doesn’t really get a say anymore because they murdered him. So all I’m asking is, am I a prisoner here?”

“Of course not.” Carmen exhaled. “I will arrange for the jet to take you back. If you want to attend the funeral and go on with your life, I won’t stand in your way. But I cannot offer you any kind of personnel to protect you. Your life is in imminent danger and our folks aren’t the Secret Service. They don’t jump in front of bullets. They can’t. They have to be around to help the next person who needs them. We are a way out, not a way through. Do you understand?”

Looking at each other, Ben offered Paisley a subtle nod—a silent promise he wasn’t going to back down if she wanted to do this. Maybe Carmen couldn’t offer anything in the way of protection, but he could. And he would do it without hesitation.

Carmen quickly pressed on. “Don’t get me wrong, we’ll do everything we can to keep you safe. Investigating this fully is a top priority. But please, take extra precautions and stay vigilant. And if at any point you’re ready to go back to Cinderhill for protection, I’ll arrange it.”

“Thank you,” Paisley said earnestly. “I’m sorry I’m not following your rules. I promise I won’t tell anyone where I was or about Cinderhill. This place is a blessing and, under different circumstances, it would be exactly what a person in my position could benefit from. On the other side of this, I’d like to know what I can do to help other people who are trying to survive this stuff. What you’re doing is a miracle, and I’d like to be part of it.”

“That’s usually how it works,” Carmen laughed. “Our best recruits are people we’ve helped or family members of people who have been saved by our interventions. It’s the kind of thing, once you know it exists, you want to make sure it stays available for others.”

As they ended the call, Paisley turned to Ben. “I don’t expect you to jump in front of any bullets for me. I don’t want anyone else losing their life because of me. I’m making this decision; you aren’t responsible for my safety. You heard what Carmen said, it’s not what you do.”

“It’s not what they do,” Ben corrected. “I get why they set up everything with those protocols. They have a way of getting things accomplished and keeping people safe. I’ve spent most of my life behind a bar, talking to people and making drinks. I can spot trouble a mile away. I can read people. I’m here because Brian and Carmen asked for my help. I’m leaving with you because I want to make sure you’re safe. This is my choice.”

“I won’t be able to live with myself is someone else dies because of me.”

He pulled her into a comforting embrace, holding her tightly against his chest. “Nothing is going to happen to either of us. And we’ll come back to Cinderhill if things get crazy. You’ve got a play to put on here.”

“We’ll come back for that. When all this is done, we’ll be back here, right? Not because I’m running for my life but because we’ll be celebrating that the danger is over. ”

“Before you know it.”

CHAPTER14

PAISLEY

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