Page 68 of Pretty Black

Iexpected some time alone when we got back to Caspian’s penthouse, but I hadn’t considered the rest of the guys would want to see me. River held me for at least five minutes, then looked at me like only a father could. I knew Emory saw it too as he devolved into laughter behind his hand.

“You look like you haven’t slept or eaten.”

I smiled. “I ate some.”

“No sleep?” River asked.

I shook my head. “No. I wrote a lot. We might have to put out a double album.”

“What?” Caspian and River stared.

“It’s what I do with pain. I can’t help it.”

“Let me see.” Caspian held out his hand for the notebook I carried.

“Not a chance. If I give you this, I won’t see you for a fucking week, and I want you inside me.” I held it behind my back.

“So we’ve just ripped the bandaid off then? Right into you two being all sexual.” River wrinkled his nose.

I grinned and wagged a finger at him. “I’ve heard you through the walls. You don’t get to say anything.”

“I don’t want to know any of this about my best friend either!” Lowe added playfully.

“I heard about your and Saint’s song. You don’t get to speak.”

Lowe grinned. “No regrets.”

“Me either,” I shot back.

“Touche.”

We ordered food and all piled into Caspian’s living room, where I found out they’d been holding up while I’d been in the hospital.

After dinner, River detangled from Emory while people drank and settled into smaller groups. I sat in the far corner at Caspian’s feet, plucking out a melody on one of his acoustic guitars.

“Can I steal him for a few?” River asked.

“Of course.” Caspian stood and gave him a hug. “Thank you for keeping him safe and taking care of him for the last two years when I failed.”

“What are you doing to me, bro?” River wrapped his arms around Cas. “You’re going to make me cry.” When they broke apart, he wiped his eyes. “Thank you for taking care of my best friend. I wouldn’t trust anyone else with him.”

“I won’t fuck it up again.” Tears ran down Caspian’s face.

“You will. We all mess up. But I believe you two can handle it, and when he needs a break, I’ll be here for you both.”

Caspian grabbed him and hugged him again. “Thank you.”

I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, fighting my own tears. “Fuck you both.”

Caspian kissed my temple before he went to join Lowe at the piano.

River sat on the floor next to me and put his arm around me. “He loves you.”

“I know.”

“I’m glad you figured it out.”

I nodded. “Me too. I couldn’t have done this without him.”

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