Page 38 of Pretty Black

Whispered words.

Passionate exchanges.

We’d blur the lines.

But never find,

How we intertwine.

My mind stirring like the deepest of currents.

Crashing at the shores of my sanity,

Determined to drown reality.

I can’t let go,

I can’t let go of this idea of you.

Maybe that was all we were meant to be,

Poetry written with bodies.

Comfort to keep in our sleep

Shared hours

Shared thoughts

Friends but never love.

Never more.

I gave everything I had.

And it’s not enough.

It won’t ever be enough.

And even crying on the bathroom floor,

As empty as I ever thought I could be,

I still can’t forgive me for the idea of us.

Hope rotting my brain like an infection.

Holding on to this idea of you.

Where’s the peace in letting go?

Why can’t I destroy all the thoughts of you?

I’d burn myself to the ground to be rid of you.

And it’s not enough.

It won’t ever be enough.

---