Page 70 of Say You Love Me

“You can’t be serious,” Rylee pleads. “You need to come with me. I’m not leaving you here with him.” He takes a step forward. “I heard what he said to you. Don’t listen to him, Fin. It wasn’t your fault. You’re not to blame.”

“But it is.” Her voice is so quiet I almost don’t hear her speak. “It’s my fault. I was her mother. I was the one who was supposed to protect her and I didn’t.” She draws in a labored breath. “I deserve punishment. I deserve everything I get. I was the one who left her there. She was crying and I just stood there and listened.”

Rylee takes a step forward. “Don’t say that. You know it’s not true. It was an accident. Accidents happen. Horrible shitty things happen, but that doesn’t make them your fault.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Fin, please.” He says nothing more, just holds out his hand, begging her to take it.

“Just leave, Rylee. Please, just leave.”

He looks at her one last time, his eyes boring into her as though I’m not even there. And then he turns, grabbing his bag from where it still sits in the corner and walks out the door, not caring that he’s naked.

Finity clutches my chest as though it’s possible to pull me closer. “I’m sorry,” she sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

It’s the first time I’ve heard her utter those words. They cause something to break within me and my throat tightens as tears threaten.

“I should have checked on her. I should have—”

“Shhh. Shhh.” I turn in her arms, my mouth fumbling for hers, swallowing her words. “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” But even as I say it, doubt gnaws at my gut.

The look on her face as I ran into the room with Calla in my arms haunts me. There was no surprise. No shock. No panic.

“But it is,” she cries. “If only I’d—”

Again I swallow her words with my mouth. I thread my hands into her hair and pull her closer, our lips tangling together in anguish. I want to climb inside her. Devour her.

“We’re both to blame,” I whisper against her skin.

She tries to pull away from me but I don’t let her, holding her close.

“Can you ever forgive me?” she asks, her eyes searching mine for the absolution she craves.

“Only if you can forgive me.”

Her answer isn’t in words. She moves around me, clambering over the floor until she’s in front of me, crawling into my lap, her hands threading into my hair and her mouth fumbling with mine. Her actions are frenzied with torment. Her mouth bruises my lips. Our teeth clash together as we fight for dominance, battling over our kiss. She shrugs out of her gown, letting it slide down her shoulders and exposing her smooth and soft skin. Then she’s tearing at my pants, fumbling with the buttons, hungry to release me. There’s no hesitation when she sinks her body onto me. And the sound that comes from her mouth is one of relief, of longing, of comfort. She sits still, cradling my face, my cock buried deep inside her.

The sensation is overwhelming when she begins rocking her hips. I grip onto her flesh viciously, my nails drawing blood. She writhes and she sways, tugging my desire, pulling it up from the depths until I detonate inside her, filling her.

Her head falls to my chest but she stays wrapped around me. She doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t move. She just clutches me as though she’s drawing strength. My cock grows soft but still, she doesn’t move. She stays impaled on me as though she’s too scared to move.

chapter thirty-two

THEN

~

HUDSON

The ambulance is gone and they take Calla with them. Mum hovers behind me as I sit on the couch and stare at the floor. Her hand rests on my shoulder. It feels heavy and hot. Suffocating. I jerk away from her touch, bringing my elbows to rest on my knees and my hands to hold up my head as if I can’t hold it up on my own. As if I lack the strength.

I don’t know what time it is. I don’t care. There’s sunlight outside, defying the fact that the world should have stopped. Dad is on the phone in the next room, talking in hushed tones, eyes glancing at my mother each time he paces across the doorway.

“Where’s Finity?” Mum’s voice is quiet, as though I might break if she speaks too loudly. Maybe I would.

I don’t know where my wife is.

I don’t care.

---