Page 49 of Say You Love Me

“Let me hear you say it.”

It feels wrong to say it out loud. Dirty and vulgar. “It feels good,” I say between panted breaths.

“Another finger,” Hudson commands, but his eyes are glued to my face, watching the bliss twist my expressions.

Keeping his fingers within me, Rylee moves to kneel between my legs. He inserts a third finger, stretching me wide at the same time as his mouth comes down to suck at my clit.

An orgasm rips through me suddenly and violently and I cry out, arching my back, pushing my hips into Rylee’s face and clutching his hair between my fingers. He keeps licking and sucking even though my thighs are tight around his head and my hands are pushing him away.

I’m done.

I can’t be touched anymore.

“Stop,” I pant.

Rylee lifts away and I’m left a mess, nothing but limp limbs and a racing heart. When I open my eyes, Hudson is smiling. His finger traces the angles of my face, trailing along my jawline, tripping over my nose.

“That was perfect.” He places a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. His finger runs down my throat and between my collarbones. “I love seeing your skin all flushed like this. You liked it, didn’t you? You liked having his fingers inside you?”

I nod. What I long to say is that I wanted them to be his. I wanted his mouth on me, his fingers inside me, his body.

Him.

But this is better than the coldness that existed between us before. This is something I’ll happily do to win back the affection of my husband.

The world comes back into focus. Suddenly I’m aware that I’m naked between two fully clothed men. That Rylee is sitting at my feet, his hands and face covered in my arousal. His eyes are glazed and wide, reminding me that he’s high. Hudson’s smile is somewhat lopsided.

“Do you want more?” Hudson asks. His words are slightly slurred. “Do you want him inside you?”

Rylee sits up slightly, moving to crawl over me. His erection is pressing at the front of his pants.

I swallow. “I—I—I think I need a break first.” I give them both a hesitant smile. “That was rather intense.”

I scramble away, over to where my dress rests on the floor. Tugging it over my head, I cover myself. My nipples strain at the material and Rylee’s gaze fixes on them. He licks his lower lip and adjusts himself.

“You got a smoke?” I ask.

Butterflies have settled in my stomach. Everything has become too real. It’s like it was dark and someone suddenly turned on the lights. Both men look at me as though they want to devour me. And the problem is, I want to be devoured by them. Both of them. Not just Rylee. I want them both touching me, both licking and sucking on my skin.

But I want my husband most of all.

Right now, I wouldn’t care if Rylee walked out the door and never returned, as long as Hudson touched me, wanted me.

Rylee pats himself down, looking for his packet of cigarettes. Finally, he finds them in his discarded jacket and gives me a lazy smile.

We walk outside and I lean against the post holding the washing line up. The stars are dancing tonight. They skip over the inky sky, twirling and swirling almost as though they are laughing. It feels as though they are mocking me. Poor little Finity who lost her daddy. Poor little Finity who lost her baby. Poor little Finity who lost her husband.

Poor little Finity.

The nicotine feels like heaven as it hits my lungs. Rylee flops onto one of the outside chairs, shoulders slumped, legs spread wide, cigarette between his lips. He doesn’t move it. It just stays there, the ash forming a bent arc as the cigarette disappears.

I’m startled when he laughs. “This is so fucked up, Fin.” He snorts. “Can I tell you something?”

I take another drag on the cigarette and let out the smoke slowly. “Go ahead.”

“I know he’s your husband but I don’t want him to be watching. I keep on telling myself to leave, but I just can’t do it.” His head lulls to the side as his gaze slides to me. “I want you, Fin. Any part of you I can. So if that means I have to deal with this fucked up situation in order to have you, that’s what I’ll do.”

I glance up at the stars. I want to tell him that there’s no way he’d come close to having me if it wasn’t for Hudson. As gorgeous as I think he is, as wonderful as he’s made me feel, I’m doing it all for my Hudson. I’m doing it so he will touch me again. So he will forgive me.

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