Page 48 of Wanted You More

He grips one of the couch cushions, evading my eyes. “About your birthday…” There’s hesitation in his voice as he glances up at me apologetically. “I don’t think we’re going to be able to do anything big this year. I’m sorry.”

I’d be lying if I said I’m not disappointed by that, but I refuse to let him see my chest deflate.

I mean, it isn’t like this is the first birthday we didn’t do anything huge for. I didn’t even get a sweet sixteen like a ton of other people I know. He did, however, help me get my used car for a fairly decent price after I passed my driving test. That also was in big part thanks to Ben, who happened to know the old man selling it for dirt cheap.

“It’s okay. I understand.”

He rubs my arm. “Maybe we can invite some of your friends over to do pizza or something small. You can ask Marybelle and Noah if you’d like.”

The sound of Noah’s name only makes the disappointment I’m feeling tenfold because I don’t know if he’d want to come.

“I’ll ask them,” I murmur, not feeling very confident.

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes, but I know he means it when he says, “I love you. It’s all going to work out.”

I don’t say anything back as he walks into the kitchen. Sitting down on the couch, I stare at my dinner and sink into the cushions.

It isn’t until hours later, when I’m alone in my room, that I gather the courage to text Noah.

Me:We’re going to do pizza at my house for my birthday. Dad says you can come if you don’t have to work

Nerves rattle me as I watch for the message to be delivered. My hands shake slightly when I see it turn to READ.

A minute goes by. Nothing.

Two minutes. Nothing.

Four minutes. Still silence.

After almost ten, those intimidating bubbles appear as he types his response.

Noah:I’m sorry, Austen. I don’t think it’s a good idea

And because my pride can’t take any more punches, I don’t ask him why or text him back anything at all.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

The morning ofmy eighteenth birthday, there’s a knock at the front door. By the time I answer it, there’s nobody there. But on the doorstep is a little box with a pink ribbon on top.

When I open it, I gape at the pretty silver bracelet resting neatly inside. There are three charms attached—a simple silver heart, a smaller heart with the wordlovewritten on it, and a dragonfly.

I pick out the tiny piece of paper underneath and read what’s written inside.

The store said the hearts go together as a locked set to remember loved ones, and the dragonfly represents a new beginning of joy. Consider this a fresh start foryou.

Happy birthday, Boots.

My eyes go from the note to the charm bracelet, but the image of it becomes blurry from the fresh glaze of bittersweet tears.

Because only one person calls me Boots.

And he wants a fresh start without me.

SUMMER 2023

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

The thick greengowns are silky and scratchy at the same time, and most of us are sweating half to death under the intense lights beaming down on the stage. There are fifty-two of us packed together in two separate sections of plastic seating waiting to shake hands and accept our diplomas from faculty we’ve never met.

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