Page 31 of Wanted You More

Others join in.

The noise gets louder, making my ears ring and my chest tighten.Not now, not now, not now, I tell the panic attack building inside me.

My hands start to shake, and then my body joins in. Eyes blurring until I can’t see the smoothie I’m working on. I try taking a gulp of air to ease my tight lungs but can’t seem to open my mouth.

More people start calling out to me, but I barely hear them over the ringing that grows louder in my eardrums. I’m barely able to move toward my bag, hoping to grab some medicine, as if that will help.

That’s when I hear something loudcrashbehind me, followed by shrieking girls reacting to it. It triggers the deepest part of me that goes into protective mode, shutting down reality and dragging me back into an old pit of memories that suffocates me.

The shaking gets worse.

The noise gets louder.

Everything becomes too much.

That’s when I drop, limbs heavy and mind heavier. And every feeling disappears as the blackout takes over.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The hospital istoo quiet. It makes me uncomfortable as the pretty, dark-skinned nurse takes my vitals again. She smiles and asks questions but doesn’t push when I have zero interest in any other small talk.

“Your father is outside,” she tells me softly, patting my leg. “I’ll tell him that everything looks good, and he can come in to see you. Okay?”

All I do is nod, bunching a fistful of the blanket into my hand and feeling the warm, scratchy material against my skin. When she leaves, I hear Dad’s frantic voice instantly start in on her in the hallway. There’s a third voice, a quieter, calmer one, too. Familiar.

When the door bursts open, it’s not just Dad that walks in but Noah right behind him in his work uniform. I grip the blanket over me a little tighter when I see the different expressions on their faces—pure fear on Dad’s and distance on Noah’s.

“Are you okay?” Dad asks, taking my hand and squeezing it. “When I got the call that you were in the hospital…” His tone is choked as he looks me over. “They said you have a minor concussion from hitting your head when you fainted. Did you skip lunch again?”

I can feel the intense stare coming from the Kingsley boy still standing by the door. “I wasn’t feeling well,” I tell Dad, trying to ignore the burning gaze on my face. “I guess I didn’t eat enough or something.”

A noise rises from Noah’s throat, but I’m the only one who seems to notice.

I sit up straighter, wincing from the pain between my arm and the back of my head.

Dad’s hand tightens around mine. “Did they give you anything for the pain?”

“Dad, it’s fi—”

“I’ll go get the nurse,” he insists, rushing out the door before I can tell him I’ll be okay.

When it’s just Noah and me in the room, I keep my eyes solely on my lap and the wires attached to my finger. There’s a needle in my arm for IV fluids and a heart monitor on my finger to catch the little jump of nerves on the screen beside me.

“You didn’t really faint, did you?” Noah asks, voice low for only me to hear. “When I answered the call, the woman who called nine-one-one said you started shaking and then dropped.”

He must have been one of the EMTs that showed up on scene. I peek over at him, embarrassment coloring my heated face. “You were there?”

His nostrils flare open. “You were balled up in a fetal position, Austen. I’ve seen you like that before, and it’s not because your blood sugar was low from not eating. Don’t lie to me.”

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and try not to let him see the shame I’m feeling. “It was so loud,” I whisper. Swallowing, I flatten my sweaty palms against the blanket. “Marybelle didn’t show up and nobody else was working. People were yelling and running around, and I couldn’t—” My voice catches in my throat. “I couldn’t handle it. It was too loud.”

Noah is quiet for a brief moment. “You had another panic attack.”

I say nothing to confirm it.

He doesn’t need me to.

He pushes off the wall and steps up to the side of the hospital bed, and only then do I see the slightest crack in his expression that goes from stoic to concerned. “Youscaredme,” he admits, blue eyes darker than I’ve seen them before.

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