We lock gazes but say nothing.
When Dad comes back with the nurse, Noah stands straighter and takes a subtle step away from me. But his words still weigh heavily on me like a weighted blanket.
He was scared for me.
The nurse hands me a little cup with two tablets in it for pain. “We’re going to keep you here to monitor you throughout the night, but then you can go home first thing tomorrow morning so long as there are no complications. Okay?”
My eyes go to Dad, who looks like he wants to cry as he stares at me lying here. I can’t imagine what memories this brings up for him, but something is playing in his head right now that’s pulling him into a dark place.
“Can I stay with her?” Dad asks, eyes moving from me to the nurse.
She offers him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, but it’s against hospital policy. You can come back at seven. That’ll give us time to check her over and prepare the discharge paperwork.”
Dad doesn’t argue, but it’s obvious he wants to. Instead, he nods and pulls the seat next to my bed to sit while visiting hours are still open tonight.
“Where is Wolfe?” I ask, still not looking at Noah.
Dad sighs. “Home. He wanted to come, but I wasn’t sure what I was walking into.” His eyes are sad. Sadder than usual. They go to Noah, who’s still standing silently beside us. “Thank you for making sure she was all right.”
“It’s part of the job,” Noah replies, but we both know that’s only part of the truth.
Because Noah Kingsley was scared.
Clearing my throat, I push the thought away and focus solely on my father, whose hand is back tight in mine. “Wolfe wants to have a big Thanksgiving dinner this year. I told him we could go shopping for everything we need. Maybe we can go tomorrow when you pick me up from here.”
There’s an unreadable emotion that tugs on Dad’s face as he nods. “We can do that, kiddo. As long as you’re feeling up to it.”
“I am. Iwill.” I smile. “I want to make the most of this holiday. It seems to mean something to Wolfe, so we should cook. Together as a family.”
He nods again, but his lips waver as if he’s fighting back tears. That’s when I realize he must have thought he was walking into another family member lost.
“Yeah,” he agrees, thumb brushing against the back of my hand. “As a family.”
I don’t know when Noah slipped out, but before I know it, it’s just Dad and me in the room. When he gets kicked out for the night, the space feels too big. Too quiet and too loud all at the same time. It makes it impossible to sleep.
And when one of the night nurses checks in on me in the middle of the night, there’s an amused smile on her face over something outside the door.
When nobody is around, I sneak out of bed to get a look at whatever seems to be capturing a lot of people’s attention.
I gape at the sight of Noah sleeping in an uncomfortable position beside the door to my room, with his chin propped on the heel of his hand. Somebody draped a blanket over him—a nurse, I’m sure.
They don’t allow visitors.
But he stayed anyway.
Because he was scared.
For me.
WINTER 2022
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Christmas stopped feelingmagical a long time ago, but I still decorate the whole house for Wolfe. He doesn’t care nearly as much now as he used to when he was little, but I never wanted to see the light dim in his eyes the way it did mine following the shooting. Back when the holiday felt as gloomy as the other three-hundred-sixty-four days of the year.
This year, the tree isn’t nearly as big because I couldn’t find one that looked nice enough. The old man selling them gave me a good price on the six foot one that’s currently in our living room. It’s skimpy on the bottom, and the needles keep falling everywhere, but it’s pretty with the colored lights and ornaments that Wolfe helped me put on it.
Setting down the string lights for the front porch onto the counter for the pimply-faced teenager to ring out, I pull my wallet out of my bag and freeze when I hear, “Haven’t seen you around here lately.”