Page 50 of Reckless Desire

Never have I hated this city before.

A melody chimes beside me and Sydney answers her phone. My legs lead me back toward the museum, even though I know Caro isn’t there.

“Thank God. Thank you. We’ll be right there.”

Sydney’s relief hits me like a tsunami and I almost stumble. My eyes prickle as I look at her.

“They found her.”

* * *

Sydney

We rush into the police station, Hunter likely unable to communicate rationally yet. I jump in front of him to talk to the officer at the front desk. His energy is threatening enough to get himself arrested before we get to Caro.

“Just a moment.” The young officer with the reddest lipstick I’ve ever seen picks up the phone.

Hunter is so close behind me, his breath steams my nape. His every ragged breath pulses in sync with mine. I can’t look at him. I don’t want to see the hate in his eyes. I lost his daughter.

I lost a child in my care. Losing any child would have been horrible, but his daughter? The universe hates me.

We haven’t spoken in two weeks, and I’ve imagined our next encounter a thousand times. After I decided I wouldn’t give in to this attraction, but rather focus on rebuilding my ability to move forward with my life, Hunter remained the key player in my fantasies.

Getting together with him is not a good idea, but that hasn’t stopped me from dreaming about him. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined we’d next meet over something this unforgivable.

“Daddyyyyy—” Caro runs to him. He envelops her in his bear arms, his eyes welling up. A tear rolls down my cheek. It’s a relief, but also something else. I’m touched by the scene in front of me.

This man. This single dad. Life threw shit his way. Unlike me, he stood up and embraced the challenges. I refuse to get attached, but he has no choice. He has this little girl.

A girl I lost.

Hunter pulls back, his hands holding Caro’s shoulders while he examines her, as if not believing she’s really here. Unharmed.

“I’m sorry,” Caro whispers. “I thought I could sneak out to the playground where Mommy used to take me and be back before anyone noticed, but the streets were too confusing and I got lost. Are you mad?”

Hunter lets out a long breath and bows his head. Looking up again, he scoops Caro into another embrace and stands up with her. She isn’t a baby anymore, but in his brawny arms she looks tiny.

“I’m just happy nothing happened to you. You gave me and Mrs. Lowe quite a scare. You can’t walk out into the street by yourself without telling someone.” He buries her head into the crook of his neck and strokes her hair.

She hooks her arms around his neck, and I catch myself wishing I was a part of their reunion. That I was privy to the connection and affection they share. It’s a ridiculous notion. If anything, today’s failure removed that option permanently.

How could you lose a child?

Hunter’s words from earlier play on repeat in my head, brewing more guilt inside me. My pessimist’s mind conjured so many horrible scenarios today, I can’t shake off the dread.

While Caro is safe and sound after a patrol officer discovered her, I can’t help but askwhat if. The unhelpful but very persistent question injects self-loathing into my veins.

“You’re smothering me,” Caro mumbles.

Hunter chuckles and puts her down.

“Mrs. Lowe will stay with you while I take care of the paperwork, sweetheart.”

Caro turns to me with a smile, but Hunter doesn’t as much as look my way. He turns to speak to the officer who came over with Caroline.

“Do I have to go back to school today?” Caro yawns and leans against me. I wrap my arm around her.

“I think the school day is over.” If only my priorities could be organized in the careless way of children. So much freedom.

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