And she wanted to weep with it. Because it felt right. It felt like home.
It was all the memories of what had come before, but something new. Because the desperation between them was real.
Because this was a goodbye she didn’t think they would ever say.
But each stroke brought them closer to the end.
She’d already thought they’d found the end. But no. They were having to do it again.
She would have his baby. A piece of him, always.
As if the memories weren’t enough.
As if he wouldn’t always be red. And everything she saw.
Everywhere she looked.
“Mine,” he growled.
And it was that, that edge that pushed her right over.
“Ewan.” She cried out his name as her orgasm broke over her, and he gripped her hips tight and followed behind, pouring himself inside her as he growled his pleasure.
Her cheeks were wet with tears, and her body was trembling.
“Go,” she whispered.
“Jessie...”
“You’re right. Neither of us knows anything about having a baby. And what are we going to find out together?”
“Nothing.”
“Just go, and know that everything will be fine.”
She was breaking. She needed him to leave.
If he would leave someday, he had to leave now.
He had to.
“If you can’t handle things...”
“I’ll get help. I promise. I can’t have you here.” Her voice broke. “I can’t.”
“I would stay,” he said. “If I didn’t think I would cause more harm.”
“It’s okay.”
And he dressed, and left her there. And she thought that she was going to shatter. Into a million pieces.
A million ugly pieces. And she would never get that image out of her head, either. Of herself breaking apart without him.
She had never really loved anybody except for Maren before.
But there was something with him. No matter how much she wished there weren’t.
“Go,” she said again. Because she had to save as many pieces of herself for her child that she could.