Page 46 of The Butler

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR: LINCOLN

The video showed Deklyn smiling and laughing while my new captain danced alongside him. There was no sound in the video but the obvious fun was clear on their faces. I’d noticed the insanely handsome former First Officer Jake had eyes for Dek the last afternoon I was onboard so it made complete sense for him to make his move now that I was gone.

My feelings about my new captain weren’t affected by the scene in front of me. Jake couldn’t have known what was going on below deck while I was there. How could he know that the boy he was pursuing was the most incredible sexual partner in the world? How could he know that I’d fallen in love with Dek in a matter of days, and that I thought Dek was smart, gorgeous, and the type of person I’d longed for my entire life? He couldn’t, so I wouldn’t blame Jake. I wouldn’t fire him. I wouldn’t bitch to Bob and make Jake’s life miserable because he also wanted my boy. Of course, he did.

I wasn’t proud that I’d been watching the security feed from Action for days on end. I missed Dek terribly and this filled my desire to check in on him and know that he was safe. It was another violation of his privacy, but the camera feed did not include cabins, heads, or staterooms. I’d be a liar if I didn’t say I wished it had. A shower view of my boy would have been amazing for my loneliness, even if that was creepy.

The closed-caption feed from several separate days showed Dek eating alone in the crew mess, stocking supplies, and working alongside Starr and Jake. The three of them had formed a bond and often left the ship arm in arm at night for dinner in town. I would longingly follow them as they disappeared from camera view the further down the dock they got. Then, hours later, I would fast forward the videos and watch the tipsy trio return. I was destroyed whenever Jake put a protective arm around Dek or Dek jumped into his arms as they played on the dock.

There were times when I’d watch Dek sitting alone in the crew mess staring at his phone screen. He would occasionally scroll up and down as he absorbed what was there. We had texted endlessly during the daytime from our private phones when I was onboard and we were involved. We’d tease about sexual positions we wanted to do that night after dinner or I told him how sexy I found him. Sometimes just a short message about missing him and how much I’d enjoyed the previous evening. He wiped at his eyes sometimes and pulled the cell screen closer. Was he rereading the messages? Did he miss me as much as I missed him?

And of course I kept a vigilant eye on the hallways outside of his cabin and outside of Jake’s as well. Dread would set in each day as I fast forwarded through the separate feeds watching their separate doors. I was ashamed of myself but couldn’t help my insane need for assurances. Neither ever went into the other’s room. Could I have been so disciplined if I had a hunk like Jake pursuing me?

There was footage from the day before and after a trip to town that showed the three of them exchanging hugs and Jake lifting Dek off the ground and into his massive arms then kissing his chin softly. Dek had his head back and was laughing as he struggled to escape Jake’s power. I watched as Dek went in for a kiss and then suddenly moved his lips to Jake’s cheek instead while Jake pouted. They said their goodbyes and Starr and Dek headed for their cabins while Jake went the other direction to his new captain’s suite.

I switched cameras until I found Dek’s hallway. I was obsessed over verifying whether Jake had gone to his cabin alone the previous night. The video feed would have been older so I was rewinding the feed when I noticed Dek standing in front of my suite’s door minutes after seeing him leave the dance floor. He went into the room and the video continued to record the empty hall and my closed door with Dek inside. I counted the minutes that he was in my room since there was no camera access, wondering what he was doing.

Six minutes later he exited, carrying a box. As he stood in front of his cabin door and unlocked it, I zoomed the camera over him and noticed the broken picture and sheet of paper in the box he held.

He knew.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: Deklyn

“Are you sure it was a good idea to rebuff Jake so offhandedly?” Starr asked. “It’s obvious that he’s crazy about you, Dek.”

Jake had just excused himself from our impromptu hangout session and returned to his cabin. It was mine and Starr’s final night on the boat and the three of us had been unwinding and going through final checklists so we could close the cruise out. I’d be going home and not returning, while Starr and Jake had a two-week break between the next sailing for corporate execs of Mr. C.’s company. I wondered if Linc would be on any of them.

“Any other time in my life and maybe I’d have been available,” I said. “Besides, I’m no good for anyone right now, Starr. Maybe it’s for the best so I can focus on my career for a change.”

“And would it be a good time if Mr. C. was chasing after you?”

I knew the answer to her question but she wouldn’t get an honest response. “No need to entertain that question. My phone hasn’t been buzzing for the past three weeks, girl. He got his and I got mine. That’s all we were meant to be and ever will be,” I stated. The words sounded authentic as they poured out, but internally I knew they were a lie. The part about what it was supposed to be between us was genuine, but the idea that Igot minewasn’t entirely true. I hadn’t gotten mine or close to what I wished had happened between us. But why would I? My life was a mess and he’d discovered that about me and used my complaint about him violating my privacy as an excuse to make a smart decision to run.

“What will you do now?” Starr asked. She stood and poured the rest of her drink down the drain and began wiping down the countertops in the crew mess. “Going back to LA or what?”

“Home for a bit and then truthfully I’m thinking of applying to grad school.” I had been thinking about continuing my education before the cruise but now it seemed like a wise decision. The experience of helping Linc’s company during a crisis had reinvigorated me to my chosen education. “Time to grow up, Starr. Maybe even become the kind of man that someone would consider as partner material.”

She walked back to the booth and rubbed my shoulders. “A fancy job won’t do that, baby,” she said. “You already are a great person and you’ll find the perfect guy when the time’s right, Dek.”

“Thank you. What about you?” I asked. “Two weeks of what?”

“I’m staying in Mexico, if you can believe it. I need to get fucked right now and Mexico always fulfills those needs for me,” she said. “And who knows, maybe I can convince our new captain to give chicks a go.”

“I’ll miss making up names for our ex-first officer,” I said, laughing at the silly names we added to his title over the past few weeks. Jake was a hunk and I hadn’t even gone there. Maybe I was growing up?

“I’m going to bed, Dek,” she stated, kissing the top of my head. “Remember, the shuttle to the airport picks us up at nine in the morning.”

* * *

The blaring alarm woke me from a deep sleep. After a night of staring at the ceiling of my cabin, counting sheep, jacking off, and praying to the sleep gods, I finally fell asleep just about four hours before the damn alarm ruined it. Thankfully I was packed and had my shit up on deck. After a quick shower, I dressed into the clothes I had laid out the night before. Jake was staying on board for the afternoon until security arrived, so I went to the bridge to say goodbye before leaving.

“Permission to disembark, Captain.”

“Denied, heartbreaker!” he exclaimed. “I’m not ready to let you go.” He pulled me in for a hug and sniffed my hair. “I need to hold onto this scent, Dek,” he sighed.

“It’s one-dollar-a-bottle Suave, silly.”

“You make it smell like a million though,” he said, releasing me but still holding my arms as he pushed me back a bit and took all of me in. “We could’ve been great, kiddo.”

---