Page 45 of The Butler

I sat up in my lounger, placing a foot on either side of it and looked directly in Paul’s eyes. “Go on.”

“Your father had a favorite saying whenever he met with friends or colleagues that were having difficult times. He always asked them if they had done absolutely everything they could do to make sure they couldn’t change the outcome. So, sir, I’m asking you the same. Have you done everything?” he asked.

“Probably not,” I answered. Paul stood and crossed his arms. He suddenly reminded me of Dad when his eyes laser focused on mine.

“Then I expect that you’d want to do as your father always did, sir,” he said.

“Is that a question, Paul?”

“No, sir. It is not,” he stated.

“You think I should do something about my broken heart?” I Inquired.

“Your father did, sir. And fortunately for me, I’m looking at the wonderful result of that union.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: Deklyn

The overall vibe on the ship was still good. Jake and I managed to remain friends and he still treated me the same way as he did before we had dinner. The three of us, Starr included, toiled together as a team to have the yacht ready for the next cruise and enjoyed each other’s company. He continued to be warm and tease me without any animosity, proving yet again that he was a great guy, and reminding me of why he was also a good catch.

The engineers were still onboard, but other than those two people, it was just Starr, Jake and me, so we took advantage of the luxuries that Linc’s yacht offered. When the primary or any of his guests were onboard the ship, the crew were not allowed to be in the areas of the yacht used by them unless directly serving a guest, and this included access to the two pools, three hot tubs or the club that was in the interior, complete with a well-stocked bar and dance floor. The sound system was designed to replicate the best nightclubs throughout Europe.

“Crank it up, Starr,” I yelled above the already loud music. Robyn, the Swedish pop superstar, was singing and telling her beau to“tell your girlfriend”,a song about a woman urging her desired man to dump his gal for her. “I love this song,” I hollered toward Jake who was dancing with me sans his shirt, showing an eight pack and unreal pecs.

Jake came closer. “Why don’t youtell yourboyfriendwhy you’re at it,” he teased. I’m not going to lie, he was testing every bit of my willpower. I knew I could have a night or two of hot sex with Jake and that the act would probably be glorious, but I didn’t want to do that to him. He deserved so much better than me casually fucking him, plus I couldn’t shake my emotional feelings for Linc even though I hadn’t seen or heard from him in weeks.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, mister,” I shouted.

Jake tapped his wrist where a watch would normally be. “I won’t wait forever, cutie.”

Starr ran up to us after turning the volume higher and slid between us. “Starr sandwich time, boys,” she screamed, squeezing her breast and jumping up and down. Jake picked her up and held her above his head in one swift movement, Starr stiffened her spine, spread her arms like she was flying, and they spun around the dance floor like the God and Goddess they were. They were gorgeous and it was a total shame that the universe didn’t join the two of them together as one. The offspring alone would have bettered the gene pool of mankind for years to come.

I fanned my face with a hand and motioned to them that I needed a break, pointing to the exit to the outside deck. They acknowledged me but kept crazily dancing across the floor, so I slipped outside into the cooler night. The moonlight reflected off of the water, bouncing soft blue and gray light back to the sky. I leaned over the rail and watched as two late-night seals fought over the best spot to lie on the dock below. “Quiet, you little fuckers,” I whispered. The slip beside ours was vacant but in the next one another magnificent yacht owned by a Microsoft executive was moored, the ship was fittingly namedWindows To Your Soul.The yacht was quiet with only a smattering of guards onboard to keep her secure.

I wondered where Linc was and if he had thought about me in the past weeks. When we said our goodbyes, I felt he had more to say and wondered what his words would have been if we’d been alone on the deck. I wanted to say so many things, but like him, I could barely acknowledge him as he slipped away forever.

For some weird reason I suddenly remembered the shattered frame and picture of him and Troy that he had dumped into a trash bin. I turned around and looked through the windows at Starr and Jake who were absorbed in a dance full of frustration. Neither of them were a match for the other and so obviously flustered by it. Two beautiful people and nothing to change the reality of nature.

I decided to go to Linc’s stateroom and throw away the evidence of his pain he’d left in his garbage. I had to admit that I was unimpressed that housekeeping hadn’t emptied that particular trash can. Had Linc entered the room again after it was cleaned? I’d never know but I wanted the evidence gone. There’d eventually be a new butler working for him and I didn’t want Linc to suffer the questions regarding a picture of him and another man crumpled in a broken heap of questions. I moved quietly down the stairs of the interior in case an engineer was up at that time of night, but I encountered nothing but quiet.

Without any light source from the exterior, the room was pitch black so I turned on the lamp closest to the door that sat on the small desk. I didn’t want a bright light to shine through the ceiling’s stained glass to alert anyone that the suite had an unauthorized person inside. The trash can was near the foot of the bed, but before picking it up I grabbed an empty box from behind the bar where the liquor was boxed up after any cruise.

Carefully, I picked larger pieces of the busted frame and glass from within and placed them in the box. Pressed to the bottom of the bin was the crumpled and torn in half photo. As I picked up the destroyed photo from the bottom I noticed a crumpled piece of stationary underneath. I stared at the paper, wondering if I should undo the wadded-up sheet or simply toss it in the box with the rest of the debris.

Picking it up, I immediately recognized Linc’s handwriting from the scrunched up words written in ink slightly visible through the thin sheet. Whatever decency or willpower I had wanted to employ in regards to not opening the note was lost once I saw his handwriting.

Dear Deklyn,

I’m not sure where to begin. I’ve been an impossible person with my behavior towards you and am sorry that I couldn’t conduct myself in a more professional manner.I wanted to ask you to be mine.

I’d like to chalk it up to being in pain or heartbroken, but that doesn’t excuse my behavior. Asking you to enter an agreement for sex was awful and stupid on so many levels. I disrespected you and put you in an impossible position.I couldn’t help myself. I care so much for you.

I am a lost and hopeless man who thoughthe was in love again. Maybe I am in love

The letter ended there. I couldn’t stop rereading the crossed out words. Perhaps he thought he would rewrite it after a couple of self-edits? I held the piece of paper and felt the tears building in my eyes.

He had tried to express himself and couldn’t. He had things he’d wanted to say and I had been so angry about feeling like apaid for piece of ass, I’d shut him down.

“Oh, my god,”I mouthed, a tear splattering onto the note.

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