Page 67 of The Biggest Sacrifice

I’ve been running from her all week. She knew it, and still let me do it. She gave me the space I needed while still letting me know she was available. I took advantage of that time. But sitting here with her now, in the silent parking lot, hearing only her words echo around the truck, I didn’t realize how lost I’ve been.

Listening to her tell me about that day on the football field, I remember that day clearly. I didn’t realize it had such an impact on her. Or the others around me. Yes, I provided those feelings of safety, that respect. It’s an enormous weight to shoulder. A big responsibility to always know everyone is looking for me to figure it out. To solve an issue. To provide safety. It’s why I moved up so quickly in rank. But with anything good, there’s always something that brings you back down to earth.

I’ve failed many times. And one too many times cost a life.

She’s right. Adam demanded being number one without it being earned. He’s the oldest. That’s the only reason he was given any leeway. And I won’t take anything away from the guy. He always did his absolute best to take care of us and give us what we needed.

So, while Adam demanded, I accepted effortlessly. I was always there. Until I wasn’t.

I put the truck in drive and headed for my house. I’m going to tell her. Tonight. Tomorrow will be hard enough.

Silently, we pull into my driveway. We get out and head inside. But instead of heading towards the bedroom, I take her hand and lead her outside. We sit on my swing, the warm breeze wafting her perfume around me. The scent is one of safety.

She sits silently next to me. We’re shoulder to shoulder and she slowly traces circles on my thigh.

“You trying to get me to talk?”

“A little.” I glance at her out of the corner of my eye and notice her smiling. She changes positions, laying her head on my thigh now, stretching out her legs on the swing. Her hands rest on my leg, and we swing in silence for a moment.

“I’m getting there, Farrah. I want to tell you it’s been an easy transition, but it hasn’t been. I want to tell you that being open with you comes naturally. And though it allfeelsnatural, the act of telling is difficult.”

She rubs my thighs. I know what she’s doing. She’s relaxing me. Breaking me down with touch so I can open up with language.

She knows my love language .

And I know hers, so I fight with everything inside myself to give her that right now.

“You’re the only one, mouse. It’s always been you for me, but especially since that first night. I just didn’t realize I had to tell you. I thought you knew. Didn’t you feel it? Feel me?” I take her hand and run it along my cock. She snatches her hand back and turns her head to give me a nasty look.

“Thomas! Not another touch until you give me something more! I’m serious!”

Laughing at her outburst, I soothe her, running the hair out of her face and letting my hand linger on her back. “I know, I’m getting there.”

She settles back down, continues to rub my thigh, and I feel myself relax.

I run my hands over her back.

She’s quiet, and I begin speaking.

“My last tour of active duty had us doing door-to-door searches. We were sent in first to clear the way before the rest followed. We were to scope out the scene and report back. I loved being front line, ensuring it was safe for the rest to follow. They put me in charge of a team of six, and we were all together every night.” Shaking my head and dropping my voice, “We were together that night.”

“There was something wrong that night, though.” I remember how everything just seemed off. I don’t want to say I had a gut feeling because then I’d have to admit to myself I knew it would happen. I knew nothing would happen, and that’s probably the worst of it. I wasn’t prepared. I feel her laying perfectly still except for the small pattern she continues to trace. “The town we were in was too quiet. It was a known hot spot, but we had intel the Taliban had moved out. We were sent in to make sure it was clear. The boys and I joked they knew we were coming, and they took off. Joked that the Taliban were afraid of being hunted by the best. So we went in easily. Distracted. Cocky. The worst kind of Marine to be. We sloppily walked along the buildings, not up against them, using it as a shield.”

“We had been told earlier in the day we were going home sooner than originally planned. So, needless to say, I was preoccupied that night, thinking of my return home. Thinking I couldn’t wait to see my parents, my sister, my brothers.”

Her.

I’ve got to tell her.

“You.”

I feel her breathing pick up against my leg.

“Francesca had sent me a letter with a picture of you, her and Britt going to Jackson’s football game. I tucked it into my BDU jacket pocket, knowing I had you close to my heart.”

Remembering that picture and remembering how gorgeous Farrah looked in it, she’d grown into a woman since I had been gone. I wanted to be home, and it was a thought I’d never had before. So, to say my mind was elsewhere was an understatement.

“The moonlight that night was our only source of light and it aided in not drawing attention to ourselves. We knew to creep light-footed with heavy packs and guns at the ready. The buildings always acting as shields and only our innate need to protect each other moved us along.

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