Page 22 of Pieces of Heaven

“Money isn’t everything.”

“It’s what I wasted my youth for.”

“How do you figure?”

Xenia shrugs again, trying to distance herself from her pain. “My parents promised their estate if I stayed and worked in their restaurants. I gave up college and culinary school to please them. I rarely dated or saw my friends. My life was wasted to win their estate, so I could have the funds to start my life.”

“Didn’t they have anything left?”

“When they died, their will split their estate between my brother, my sister, and me. My siblings never gave up anything. They’re successful and have families. I should have done the same thing, but I was stupid. That’s why I picked this location. I didn’t know what I was doing. I refused to see clearly because I needed my dream to come true.”

“Well, business has been picking up, hasn’t it?”

Xenia stops pouting and goes still. She’s reacted to how I’m closer. Her gaze reveals longing.

“I went on a date,” she says, making me frown. As her intense gaze refuses to look away, she adds, “I liked him well enough, but I kept thinking about you.”

“Well, you shouldn’t do that.”

Now, Xenia frowns. “Think of you?”

“No, waste your time with a man you don’t want.”

Shrugging, Xenia says, “With time and effort, I could want him.”

“He’ll never understand you,” I say rather than let her figure things out herself. “He looks at you and sees a beautiful woman while ignoring the pain you exhale with every breath.”

Xenia flushes full of womanly pride under my comment. Her gray eyes glow, and a smile warms her face. “I’m sorry I got upset.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Get upset or apologize?”

“The second one. Don’t pretend your feelings don’t matter. People who act that way don’t interest me. I ain’t got time for lying or fake shit.”

Xenia watches me now as if I’m dangerous. Her gaze still holds the warmth she can’t lose when I’m around.

Despite how much she craves me, I suspect she’s just lonely. If she were anyone else, I’d tell her to date Francis and any other interested man. I’d say she ought to make friends and go wild.

But she isn’t anyone else.Xenia feels like my responsibility. If she’s going to go wild, she ought to do it with me.

Yet, when I think over her words, I know her destination isn’t the same as mine. She covets a normal life like her siblings enjoy. The wedding ring, the house in the suburbs, the kids, the vacations to touristy spots.

Xenia isn’t a wild woman. She doesn’t want to ride on the back of my Harley or tough it out in McMurdo Valley’s often unforgiving landscape.

That’s why I don’t stick around and let her tell me more about herself. Right now, we’re both nursing fantasies. In our heads, we can fix each other’s longing.

Maybe that’s true in the short term. Taking this woman to bed would ease much of my recent edginess. Her beautiful face is all I think about, and I’m curious as fuck about her body.

How long would our passion last? A few months, at best. As I look into her gray eyes, I realize she doesn’t know what she wants in life. She flat-out said she was lost. Clinging to me makes sense in her confused mind.

Xenia isn’t a loser, though. She’s smart enough to run a business. She made one mistake. If she’d gotten a lease at a better location, this place would be busier. It’s comfortable and fits real nice into the town’s casual vibe. With a few lucky breaks, Xenia can rebound and claim the dream she thinks she’s lost.

What happens to me when she regains her confidence and moves on? Our relationship will become nothing more than a footnote in her life, but it’ll mean everything to me.

So while I might want to get close to this woman, I slide cash on the counter and take my food. No matter how much I wish I could be the one to lift her up, I refuse to stick around long enough to get left behind.

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