Page 18 of Carried Away

It’s Hutch.

He shoves a wad of toilet paper under my nose. “Here. I couldn’t find any tissue.”

“Thanks.” I take the toilet paper and blow my nose. My head is pounding and my eyes look anywhere but at Hutch.

He rests his elbows on his knees and leans forward. “You know, grief is a weird thing. One second everything is fine and you’re laughing with your friends. The next second, something reminds you of the person you’re grieving and your world comes crumbling around you.” He sighs. “I don’t think Ryan meant to put you in this situation. I’m sorry that you’re in it. I’m sure his daughter’s gonna get an earful when everyone leaves.”

Hutch shakes his head and runs a hand through his strawberry-blonde hair. “No matter what answer he gave, it would’ve been the wrong one. You know that, right?”

I look at him for the first time, and my eyes meet his. Hutch continues, “If he’d denied it, Cimmeron would’ve made a bigger scene about him being a liar, and probably embarrassed you further. If Ryan said yes, he had a chance at finding out how you felt and only humiliating himself. He chose to do the thing with the biggest potential for pain himself, but what he thought would be the lowest drama to you.”

Hutch stands and lifts a shoulder. “I don’t know how you feel about Ryan. That’s between you and him. He’s a good man. He’s loved you for as long as I’ve known him. Don’t make this any harder on him than it already is.”

Hutch pins me with his gaze, then turns and walks through the slider and back down the deck stairs to the party.

I lean back against the couch cushion in a daze. My cheeks are cold from drying tears, and the pounding in my head feels like The Blue Man Group is having a concert on my brain. I listen to the subdued voices in the backyard. There’s no way I can go back. I made a fool of myself and of Ryan.

Do I wait for it to finish and then talk to him?

Do I slip quietly into the night and pretend this day never happened?

Do I leave and call in the morning?

I groan and run a hand down my face. Best to call it a night and call in the morning. I don’t want to have this conversation in front of his friends. Plus, he has his daughter to take care of. I don’t want to amplify the awkwardness by having this conversation around her.

One way or another, before I leave town, I need to tell Ryan that I return his feelings. Even if I am too messed up to do anything about it.

Chapter 16

A Daughter's Request

Ryan

Carrierunsupthedeck stairs into the house, and I whirl around to look at Livvie, ready to give her a piece of my mind. I don’t have time to process my emotions. When I look at her, Livvie’s face is practically white and she has a sheen of sweat on her face.

She whimpers and says, ‘I’m gonna be sick.”

I lunge for her as she empties her stomach into the bread pan.

Cimmeron starts gagging at the sight of Livvie puking. Serves him right.

I scoop Livvie up in my arms and apologize to everyone, then climb with Livvie up the stairs into the house toward the bathroom.

I meet Hutch on the deck. His brows are furrowed and he rests a hand on my shoulders. “Grief is a fickle beast, man. Don’t take her responses personally.”

I nod. “Intellectually, I know you’re right. It’s still hard on the ego though.”

Hutch nods. “Now she knows. The ball is in her court.”

Livvie starts to whimper. I give Hutch a smile of thanks then shoulder past him to the apartment. I barely make it to the bathroom before she throws up one more time in the toilet while I’m cleaning out the loaf pan. Then, she sits with her face on the tub, crying.

I drop to my knees and shove a lock of her hair off her sweaty forehead. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

She shakes her head. “This weekend turned out so sucky. Mom was supposed to take me to Leavenworth, but she bailed. Again. Then I was supposed to go to the lake with Brooklynn and I got sick. Then I was supposed to hang out with you at the barbeque and I ruined it for everyone. Especially Carrie.”

She looks up at me with those puppy dog eyes of hers and I can’t stay mad.

I sigh and tuck more hair behind her ear. “I’m pretty sure she’s long gone by now. I doubt we’ll be seeing her again.”

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