Page 39 of The Hurt of Letting Go

My eyes shoot open, taking me away from the dream I was having that was more of a memory. It was the last night I stayed at Emree’s house before our spring break vacation, and we spent the night wrapped around each other for hours.

Groaning, I look down at the tent the memory created under the blankets and curse the beautiful woman for remaining a constant fixation in my head. It has been three weeks since our breakup and almost two since the last time I talked to her. The semester’s end is approaching and that means I will be moving into an apartment in Boston with Liliana and announcing our engagement in mere months.

While I wish I could do my best to avoid her, Liliana has made it her mission to become the doting girlfriend. I reminded her last week that this is a business arrangement and I don’t expect her, and in return me, to act like this is a real relationship, but she insists on showing up everywhere I am and bringing me food after practice. Never home cooked since she admitted she knows nothing about cooking.

The guys all hate her, even Maddox, who I don’t think has ever disliked a person in his life. Levi says he always carries headphones around with him now because he cannot stand her high-pitched laugh, and I can’t blame him. It’s fake and forced, much like her personality. Even though we met three weeks ago and I truly have been putting in effort this last week, I feel as though I don’t know who the real Liliana is. She puts on a mask in public, but the way she talks to me in private is controlling and demanding.

Part of me wonders if maybe I’m not seeing the true her because my head is wrapped around another woman. One I can’t have and who refuses to even look in my direction since I became a jealous asshole, seeing her with that dickwad in the courtyard. His hand holding hers and her smiling at him with ease. That should be me. Only I should be allowed to touch her. Her laugh and smiles should only be directed at me, not some douchebag who doesn’t even know her.

The pain from my hard-on becomes too much, and I throw the covers back and push my boxer briefs down, exposing myself. Wrapping my hand around my dick, I begin stroking it while bringing up the memory from my dream. My hand is nothing compared to Emree’s soft body and her moans filling the room, but it will have to do at the moment.

“Hey, Con, you awake? I don’t know how to put this tie together and you’re an uppity guy.” My door swings open and a suit-covered Levi barges into the room. “Dude, fuck.” He covers his eyes. “Do you not lock the door when your dick is out?”

Grabbing the sheet, I throw it over to cover myself and wiggle my briefs back up. “What the fuck are you doing coming into my room without knocking?”

“What the hell is all the yelling about?” Maddox asks from the hallway. When he comes into the room, his eyes immediately focus on the tented sheet. “Hey, buddy, you want to simmer Little Conny down? Don’t want to hurt someone with that thing.”

Groaning, I throw my arm over my eyes. “Please, for the love of God, get the hell out of my room.”

“Just me, or Levi too? And why is the lumberjack in a suit? What is going on here?”

“I came in to see if fancy pants here could help me with my tie, but apparently, he has nothing better to do at ten in the morning than stroke one out with the door unlocked,” Levi answers.

With my hard-on officially deflated, I sit up and look at the two of them. “If you leave my room, I’ll fix your goddamn tie when I come out.”

Levi’s mouth falls open. “You think I want that hand coming near me after seeing it on your junk?”

“Whose hand was on their junk?” Camden comes into the doorway and joins the party.

“For God’s sake, are we having a roommate meeting or something? What the fuck are you all doing just hanging around outside my room?”

“In my defense, I was coming out of the bathroom and heard raised voices,” Camden responds.

“Lumberjack came into Conny’s room and caught him stroking the salami.” Maddox shivers, probably with a visual.

“Oh my god,” I groan.

Camden looks at me with disappointment. “Dude, why don’t you lock your door?”

“Seriously?” I ask, dumbfounded. “This ismy room. He shouldn’t be coming in without knocking.”

Maddox comes forward and sits on the edge of my bed, being sure to keep a good distance between us. “Buddy, we’re all besties. We shouldn’t have to knock. There is an unspoken no-knock rule around here. Unless, of course, the door is locked. Then we know funny business is going on.”

I rub my hands down my face.

“You going to wash that hand? Because that’s just gross.” Maddox’s eyebrows are drawn together as he looks at my right hand with disgust.

“That’s it,” I say as I stand. “Get the fuck out. Now. And there isn’t a no-knock rule here. It’s an invasion of privacy and fucking stupid.” Luckily, the conversation had helped to simmer down my erection completely.

Maddox stands with his hands held up. “Whoa, man, don’t come any closer with that thing.”

“Get. Out.”

“We’re going. We’re going. I can tell when I’m not wanted somewhere.”

Levi and Camden chuckle as they turn to leave. Before I can close the door, Levi turns around. “But for real, my tie?” His face disappears as I slam the door in his face. And lock it.

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