Page 74 of You, with a View

I give him a look. “Do you even know me?”

He grins. “Let me take a picture of you first. Memorialize your success at not falling off the side of the mountain.”

“Just because I fellone time—” I try to sound annoyed, but his happiness is infectious, so I duck my head to hide my mirrored emotion, pulling my camera from my bag.

He frowns down at it after I hand it to him, until I take pity and show him where the shutter release is. “Just like this, so you can see through the viewfinder.” I push the camera up to his eye and he nods, then drops it an inch, squinting playfully over the top.

He points to a few feet away. “Go stand over there. In front of that bush so you’re not right on the edge.”

I make my way over, unable to wipe the stupid grin from my face. Theo’s adorable when he’s clueless and lethal when he’s playful. The combination of the two might destroy me.

“Noelle,” he calls, and I look over my shoulder just as he takes a picture. I’m still startled by the sound of my name in his mouth, so distracted by the thrill it sends spiraling in my stomach, that I don’t have a chance to school my expression. He grins knowingly. “Got you.”

When he pulls me onto a slab of rock after I’ve taken my pictures so we can read the letter from Gram, he winds his hand around my thigh, securing me to him even further. He has me so fully that I worry how I’m going to untangle myself when this is over.

But that’s not for me to worry about right now. Instead, I open the letters and read Gram’s words from my spot on top of the world.

January 26, 1957

My dearest Paul,

I thought being with you without my parents’ blessing would be terrifying. It’s scary, but so much less so because I have you.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. We have until the school year’s over before we discuss our next steps. Eventually, I’ll have to tell my family, and I don’t know if this happiness will last or if it’ll be taken away again. I could write a thousand lists to help prepare myself, but just like with that damn dinner, it won’t make a difference. Anything could happen in the future. Good, bad, who knows?

Tonight, after you dropped me off at home, I decided that I’m going to let myself be happy right now. I’m going to do this for me, for you, and not concern myself with what ifs or the future.

I’m telling you this so that if I start worrying or making lists, you can help me push it aside. Right here and now is exactly where I want to be.

Yours in this moment,

Kat

Twenty-One

If Theo and I don’t have sex soon, I’m going to lose it.

We spend one more night at the Zion Airbnb. With Paul just down the hall and us exposed in the living room, we’re too paranoid to get into a situation we can’t easily extract ourselves from. The trauma for all would be lasting and complete.

Still, it’s hard to hold back, and we have to keep reminding each other not to take it too far that night when we’re tangled up in bed together.

“Fuck, I want you,” Theo breathes into the dark. He presses his cheek to mine as his hand makes magic between my legs. “We have hotel rooms in Bryce, right?”

I nod, too close to formulate words.

“Good. Tomorrow you’re mine, Shepard,” he whispers, catching my mouth with his to muffle my quiet moan as I come.

We spend Saturday exploring Bryce Canyon, and I endure endless glancing touches from Theo while Paul isn’t looking. Somehow I make it through our late dinner with Theo’s knee pressed meaningfully against mine, but I drag myself back to my room—which isnext door to Theo and Paul’s—completely dickmatized. I have Zion pictures to edit, a highly requested TikTok of Gram and Paul photos to upload, and DMs and comments to answer, but as soon as I’m done, Theo better make good on his promise.

But fate is clearly conspiring against us. That, and Best Western. The walls separating our rooms may as well not be there. I hear Paul and Theo’s humming conversation as if I’m in the room with them, and all the plans I had go up in smoke. There’s no way we’re getting up to anything if there’s a chance Paul could hear.

I’d be lying if I said I don’t shed a frustrated tear or two, but it turns into reluctant amusement when Theo texts me later, after I’ve changed into my pajamas.

What are you wearing?

I reply:Did you hear me unzipping my suitcase?

Actually yes,comes his swift response.These walls are made of fucking paper.

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