Page 71 of Chasing Secrets

“Do you know how you want me on the bed?” I practically growled as I tore my lips from Theo’s and turned around long enough to throw the covers aside. I flicked the light on the nightstand on too, so he’d be able to see me clearly and remember where he was.

By the time I turned my attention back to Theo, his nerves had started to return in force. I cursed myself for moving too fast. I rubbed my finger over his cheek. “Do you know how we normally lie down together before going to sleep?” I asked.

Theo’s reluctant nod told me I was on the right track. “We’re going to do the opposite, okay? You’re going to be behind me with your front pressed to my back.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said, clearly relieved. I knew he was probably confused, though.

I lay down, leaving on my boxers as well as the snug briefs I’d begun wearing at night in the hopes of keeping my erection somewhat under control while I held Theo’s supple body against mine. I looked over my shoulder at him but didn’t say anything. He was still hard but not like he’d first been when I’d found him in the bathroom. He could probably manage to fall asleep in his present state, whether it was with me or in his own bed, but I wasn’t going to make that choice for him.

The next move would have to be his.

CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT

THEO

Icouldn’t let my nerves get the best of me. Not when I knew that I had a chance of getting everything I wanted.

I hadn’t even really known what I’d wanted until Lincoln had taken me to the wildlife sanctuary. While I’d loved the animals and learning all about their histories from little Newt, it was what had come after that had cinched it for me.

When we’d been invited to stay for dinner, Lincoln had tried to shield me from something he’d been worried I wasn’t ready for, and I’d loved him more in that moment than I would have ever even thought possible.

I’d accepted the invitation to challenge myself because I’d already known at that point that I wanted to be a part of Lincoln’s life. I wanted to build on the life I’d found in Pelican Bay, not return to my singular existence that included hiding from the world in my apartment and slicing my body to shreds so I wouldn’t have to face what had been done to me.

So I’d said yes to dinner and had loved every moment, even if I hadn’t been brave enough to participate in the conversation. I’d been welcomed into the Kent extended family without question and I’d gotten the feeling it would have been that way whether I’d been with Lincoln or not. That ache that had started when Lincoln and I had kissed just outside Jerry the zebra’s enclosure had quieted somewhat during dinner, but it hadn’t gone away entirely, and by the time we’d reached Cam and Ford’s house, I’d been thinking about what might have happened if I hadn’t pushed Lincoln away when he’d tried to pull our hips together.

That thought had turned into an obsession which had turned into my very own personal slideshow in my head. I hadn’t seen Lincoln completely naked yet, but my imagination had made up for that and image after image of our bodies intertwined had flashed in my head. With each one I’d anticipated the dreaded shock that would follow, but it hadn’t happened. By then, I’d been hard as a rock, and I’d stayed that way for more than an hour before I’d finally gone to the bathroom to deal with it. Since a cold shower would have only dealt with the physical reaction I was having, I’d turned to my trusty razor blade but as soon as I’d taken it out, I’d put it down on the vanity and hadn’t been able to touch it again.

I’d struggled with what to do because I’d read the articles about some men still being able to have sex after receiving the same “treatment” I had. At the same time, I’d been unable to get the memory out of my head of feeling that jolt of electricity tearing through my body the night Lincoln had kissed me for the first time. I’d been turned on long before he’d touched my dick but the second he had, that was when I’d felt the shock.

I understood the concept of it being in my mind but that didn’t mean I could just tough it out. I had no idea how to make something like that go away, but I’d started to wonder if there was another way. Just like I’d found outlets, albeit unhealthy ones, for the pain inside that I tried to keep locked away, maybe there was something I could do with Lincoln that would prove to me that we could have some kind of physical relationship.

That opportunity was right in front of me, but I was honestly clueless. But one look in Lincoln’s eyes when he glanced over his shoulder at me, and I knew it wasn’t something I had to figure out alone.

I got into bed and positioned myself at Lincoln’s back. It felt strange, especially when I eased my pained dick against his ass. I wasn’t sure what to do next but just feeling his hot skin against mine had me remembering how much I’d enjoyed exploring his chest.

I leaned back a little so that I could run my fingers down Lincoln’s back. He was beautifully built. I’d seen for myself that he tried to take care of himself by eating healthy, including the weird smoothies and drinks that Walter often made fun of. But he also ate with the family, so it wasn’t something that he was obsessed with. I’d never seen him exercising but his body was firm in all the right places, so either he was blessed with good genes or the weird stuff he ate and drank had more of an impact than I would have guessed.

I ran my hand back up Lincoln’s spine, then pressed a kiss to the back of one shoulder. He hadn’t moved at all, but I could feel him trembling.

Was I doing that to him?

Instead of asking him, I shifted upward to kiss the back of his neck. The move had my dick sliding against his fully clothed ass. Sensation shot through me at the move as Lincoln let out a soft curse.

I stilled as I tried to make sense of what I’d felt.

“Not a shock,” I breathed.

“Do it again, baby. Please,” Lincoln ground out.

I let my dick slide back down his ass and then slid up again. “Fuck,” I whispered against his shoulder blade.

I looked down between our bodies and saw that my dick was at full attention. Without even thinking about it, I shoved my sweats down and watched as my reddened cock bobbed briefly. When it came to rest, it was right up against Lincoln’s ass. My mind automatically wentthere…

“I’m going to be so tight around your cock, Theo,” Lincoln said huskily. I jerked my eyes up to see him watching me over his shoulder.

Hewould really letmefuckhim?

Jesus, I hadn’t even considered that. I’d always assumed…

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