Page 7 of Tinsel and Teasing

“I don’t date. I’m not good with relationships. I haven’t... Never mind, it just seems easier to do it like this and get it out of the way.” I rub a hand over the back of my neck and scan the room while avoiding the uncomfortable topic of my distrust of men. No Christmas decorations, could we talk about that instead?

“That’s fine, but I’m not joking about being a virgin,” Knox says.

We all turn to him and he tosses his hands up. “I fucking live up here in the mountains with you guys. Have you ever seen me bring a woman home?”

I glance at them, my head swiveling as if I’m a tennis spectator. There’s no disagreement to his question. This evening may be more transactional than I imagined. We all serve a purpose. Defile each other!

Knox adds, “Have I ever mentioned having sex?”

They shake their heads.

“So maybe the fact that none of us ever brought it up is because none of us have ever done it?”

Luke says, “I didn’t think of it that way. I just kept quiet and you guys both kept quiet. I figured you were respectful about your experiences.”

Knox says, “I never wanted to use a woman for sex. I wanted a connection.”

My mind whirs, and not just from all the head swivels. What the hell is he saying? The whole point of this is sex, not a…connection.

An emotional weight in the room shifts. I defensively turn to Clyde. “Why don’t you have a Christmas tree?”

Silence fills the room.

Knox finally says, “We’ve got Christmas trees growing all around us.”

“But you didn’t bring one inside to decorate.” Am I going to ruin this incredible chance to have sex?

“No,” Clyde says as if he’s confused.

Uncomfortable conversations simmer close to the surface. I desperately want to keep the conversation away from why I don’t do relationships.

“Do either of you have Christmas trees?” I waggle my finger between Knox and Luke. They each shake their head.

Luke says, “I guess we enjoy them in all their natural beauty, kind of like you. There’s nothing we would need to change. You’re perfect.”

Here’s my chance to get back on track. “Well, except that virginity thing. Can we get to that?”

Am I the only female on the planet who’s effectively landed herself in bed with three sexy lumberjacks only to find out that they’re all virgins? Good thinghaving sextakes priority over finding a guy with experience.

Seven

Luke

Isadoragotfidgetywhenshe mentioned the ‘no relationships’ thing. Maybe that’s something we have in common.

My problem is that I’ve had this idea of the woman I want, and until meeting Isadora, that woman didn’t exist. But now, I have to take a breath when I realize she’s in my grasp…my dream woman.

“So how do we do this? I could get naked and whoever’s ready first gets to go?” she asks.

She tries to come across as fearless about her decision, but I sense something more fragile on the inside. I will protect that with everything I have. And someday, if she shares whatever that is, I’ll know that I’m worthy.

“Rather than just get naked and jump on each other, why don’t we play a game? Can I use your computer, Clyde?”

Clyde motions to his desk. A moment of panic flashes through me as I turn. If his light ring and tripod are out, Isadora might ask questions.

A quick survey allows me to notice the light ring tucked in a corner, presumably with the tripod. His desk looks pretty normal, with a laptop and general office supplies. Nothing to elicit questions.

I know his password so I log in and search for a list of sexual conversation starters. Skipping past the ones that have super kinky questions, I print one that remains basic. Another search leads me to a list of ways to touch a sexual partner.

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