Page 115 of Say I Do

“Going to go take this.”

I nodded. “I’ll—” I gestured around wildly. There wasn’t anything for me to do. The only reason I hadn’t felt the weight of it lately was because of Benito.

The silence weighed on me, bringing to light all my fuck ups. My phone was in my hand before I knew what I was doing.

Me: Hey, um, something is wrong with Benito.

Giancarlo: If it’s something about his dick, I don’t want to know.

Enzo: What’s wrong?

I glanced up and chewed my bottom lip. Everything was technically my fault. I should fix it but I had no idea how.

Giancarlo: Do I need to bring Silvy?

Me: Who is Silvy?

Me: He’s being weird…

Giancarlo: Weird? Like mooning grandmas weird or swimming with sharks weird?

How did he even come up with those answers?

Another message came in from Gin. It was a picture of a hammer.

Giancarlo: Silvy.

I’m just going to ignore that.

Me: He’s eaten two boxes of donuts, and he’s just weird.

I couldn’t explain it. He felt off as if he wasn’t him.

Enzo: On our way.

My shoulders dropped, and I pocketed my phone.This is good. His brothers can help, and in the future, I’ll know what to do with him when he gets like this.

I groaned and looked around. Marianna was on vacation which meant the cleaning was left up to me and Benito. He mostly kept it straightened up. With him being the way he was, the penthouse was dirtier than ever.

I wasn’t the best cleaner but since it wasn’t Chinese food, I figured it was the least I could do. I started in the living room, picking up any trash I could find. Before I knew it, I’d made my way to one of the rooms. It was Benito’s home office. He never used it; the man preferred to work from bed or the couch.

I stubbed my toe on something hard and cursed as I fell. Pain echoed up my leg as I pulled my foot close.

“Shit! What the fuck was that?” My toe was red but other than that it was okay. I looked around for whatever I’d jammed my toe on and paused. One of the tiles was slightly up and off.

Don’t look. Just walk away.I was trying to stay good.I’d fucked up the other day, and the last thing I needed to do was go through Benito’s shit.

My fingers curled around the tile. I pulled it free. There was a stack of bills and passports. Nothing out of the ordinary except a folded stack of papers.

I could walk away right now and forget I’d ever seen them.

My fingers brushed over the pages. I flipped through the wrinkled papers. At first glance, it looked random. A bunch of dates and a few meaningless words. Like someone drunk tried to write. But in between them were a few coherent passages.

Feb 13th

I don’t feel good about what I’m doing. E gives me everything. He’s nice to me, and the way he holds me makes me feel wanted. But I can’t get over B. What do I do?

Feb 16th

---