Page 121 of Say I Do

“He’s as pleasant as ever,” Paolo muttered.

“Yeah, and getting more pleasant every fucking day,” I growled. I removed my hand from Harlow’s mouth. “This is Harlow.”

“The husband.” Gianpaolo smiled before he held out a hand. “Welcome to the fucked up family. Shame I probably won’t ever see you again. I like you.”

For once, Harlow was at a loss for words as he shook Gianpaolo’s hand. Later I’d have to explain the situation with my brother. For now, I pulled Paolo into another tight hug. Reluctantly, I pulled away, and he disappeared from my life. Again.

“Who was that?”

“My brother,” I told Harlow before I grabbed his chin and tilted his head up. “Listen, my father doesn’t need to know it was you that killed Lee.”

Harlow frowned. “Someone needs to knock him down a peg or two. The way he talks to you—”

“It’s how things have always been,” I said. “He’s a hard man brought up in a hard life. Honestly, he’s never changed, and I know he’s not going to. Better to save your breath and sanity when dealing with him.”

“What bullshit,” he muttered.

I laughed dryly. “You’re not wrong.”

Harlow laid his hands on my chest. He walked me backward until he pulled out my chair and patted it. I took a seat before he joined me on my lap.

Reaching out, Harlow traced his fingers over my cheek. I stared at him, confused. I’d expected him to blow me or try to climb on my cock, but this was completely different. He stared at me with a softness in his eyes that made my stomach tighten to the point of pain. My throat constricted as I tried to swallow around a lump.

“What are you doing?” I whispered as my unease grew.

“I don’t know,” Harlow whispered. He brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. “I just… wanted you to feel better. The shit that came out of that man’s mouth was horrible. You don’t deserve that. You’re an asshole, but you’re not worthless.”

My heart thumped away. How long had I craved to have someone who treated me gently? Someone who could soothe the side of me that needed to be protected with brick walls and bullets? Yet, as Harlow stroked my face and stared at me with that soft expression, panic rose in my throat.

The last man I’d let in had betrayed me. No matter how much I tried to push those memories away, they reared their ugly head. I shifted Harlow from my lap, stood up, and adjusted my jacket.

“Enough,” I muttered. “I have things to do.” I gathered my things and headed for the door. “Your clothes should be here by now. I’ll wait for you outside.”

Harlow stared at me. The look in his eyes made me want to go back, to tell him it was okay. But the sadness was gone in the next second. Instead, he went back to his blank expression as he nodded at me.

I shut the door.

“On the couch, really?”I muttered as I stared at Benito.

I tried to keep the hurt out of my voice, but it was hard. I thought… Fuck, I didn’t know what I thought, but this felt like the wall that had been there before was back, standing between us.

Benito groaned as he stretched his arms over his head. “I got in late. Didn’t want to disturb you.”

Tell the truth. You didn’t want to be near me.

My chest felt as if it was about to cave in. “Got it.”

I turned away before I allowed him to see just how much he’d hurt me. It shouldn’t have, but I wasn’t stupid; I was falling for Benito. No fuck that. I’d fallen for him. I was so far gone I was at the bottom of the pit. I’d thought for a second we were falling together, that we were braving the unknown side by side. But at some point, Benito had climbed back up and left me alone to rot.

“We need to get fitted today,” I said, trying to force down the unease that settled in my stomach.

What happened? The moment I’d let my wall down completely, Benito had stepped back. His rejection stung, and I wanted nothing more than to forget about it.

“I went last night. You can go. I’ll send Tony with you.”

I stopped short, my fist balled up at my side. “No need. I’m just getting fitted. I’m sure you need him more.”

Benito groaned and finally got off the couch. He moved toward the kitchen, not once stepping near me. “I do, but I need you to stay out of trouble more.” He started making coffee. “It’s going to be a little cooler today. Hopefully, it doesn’t rain.”

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