Page 117 of The Demon Crown

Why would Greed’s brother join a random party if there wasn’t something interesting going on? He wasn’t the type to just randomly do what he wanted, and what he wanted was to not be here at all. Which meant she had very little time. She had to get them on the right track, and so she did.

Varya led them across the dunes for half a day. She charged through the sands, the hooves of her horse beating in time with her heart. She could do this. She could remember.

And she did.

Varya brought them right to the heart of where she had first found the Horde. Where she herself had picked up on their trail to bring her to where she’d met Greed.

And though they were no longer there, signs of life remained. Fires that had recently been extinguished. Food that hadn’t quite gone rotten yet, and footprints. Hoof prints. Items of belongings that proved they would return.

She’d known she was right. But this victorious feeling, this thunderous pride in her chest that only bolstered the spirit inside her? This was what she lived for.

“Adventure,”it whispered in her mind. “Oh, it’s so glorious.”

And it was.

Oh, it so very much was.

Varya picked through the Horde’s belongings with the other scouts, trying to find some hint that would tell them where they had disappeared this time. But quickly, there was another presence following along behind her. A presence that made her stomach twist and roll.

“Varya,” Gluttony said, standing behind her like a wall of fucking ice. “You know he’s going to show up soon. If you want to remain anonymous, then you need to go.”

“What I need to do is find out where they are going,” she snarled.

“There are other scouts for that.”

“And they’ve never been as good at my job as I am. I will find out where they are and I will be the one to hunt them down.” She whirled on him, her heart in her throat as the words poured out. “They hurt me, Gluttony. They hunted me down like I was an animal and they threatened to rape me. They almost would have, too, if it wasn’t for that stupid snake that Greed fought off. The same snake that saved me and I don’t... I don’t know how to get through these memories without being the one to hunt them down.”

And there it was. The thoughts she’d tried her best to bury so deep inside her that she wouldn’t ever remember them.

But their voices still came up in her mind. They still slithered into her thoughts, even when she was lying in Greed’s arms. Words of other men who wanted to take, just like Greed wanted to take.

Perhaps he saw how wild her eyes were, or perhaps he felt more for her than she’d ever thought. But Gluttony approached her like he might a wild animal, his palms raised for her to see, every movement slow and calculated. “You know I didn’t know that.”

“I don’t care that you don’t know.” How many women had suffered the same fate? Or worse?

“And you don’t have to. But I need you to hear me when I say this, lovely thief, that was not your fault. They did not leave a stain on your skin when they did it, nor do they likely even remember their transgression.”

They were the same words that Greed had said when she’d glossed over what had happened to her. She hated that the Horde probably didn’t remember her. But she wanted the leader of the Horde to never forget her face.

“I want them dead,” she snarled again, her teeth bared in a snarling grimace. “I want them to know what it feels like to be so afraid, even if they don’t have to suffer like I did. I want to see it in their faces when they realize I was the one who returned. Even if they don’t recognize my face, they will know my rage.”

She saw something twist on his expression, a wild look that mirrored her own as though he, too, wanted to know what that would be like. “Does Greed know this?”

“I glossed over it and we moved on,” she hissed. “I didn’t tell him the details, nor does he know how much it has affected me. Don’t you think I realize what he would do if he heard the truth? If he knew their voices were still in my head even while lying with him? He would tear this entire kingdom down until there wasn’t even a grain of sand left. He cannot know, Gluttony.”

“He should.”

“He won’t.”

But Varya’s wild thoughts stilled as Gluttony stood right in front of her, his hand outstretched for her to take. “But he should, Varya. You need to tell him so that he truly understands why you have to be here.”

And with that, she broke. Snapped like a string that had been held far too tight.

She couldn’t keep the emotions in her chest, the ones she hadn’t really felt since it had happened. They bubbled up inside her, pressing against her lips and tongue until they poured out of her body in a great heaving sob.

She reached for him, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding onto the only person who could hold her. To his credit, Gluttony didn’t touch her back. Perhaps he feared she would tense up, or be thrown back into those dark memories. But she didn’t think he would make her feel like that. Not really.

Instead, she grabbed his arms and wrapped them around her shoulders. He wasn’t touching her in any dangerous way, and she knew who he was. No dark memories could even come up, anyway. They hadn’t raped her, they’d just threatened it and somehow that had still cut through her mind. The fear of what they could have done plagued her. The dreams of what they might have finished if she hadn’t slipped away after that snake interrupted them… It consumed her.

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