Page 9 of Ruler

Arthur, Gwenda, and Remus are all coming over to celebrate with us. It’s not only the first party I’m actually throwing, I’m also disclosing my marriage to Kai, which makes me the Female Ruler. I know Kai has already told them we were married, but they’re also under the assumption he filed our annulment papers. So tonight they’re finding out we’re still married. And then there’s Lupa and Morgana’s secret, which I’m not sure I believe they’ll make public.

Honestly, I can’t blame them if they back out, just as I have to remind myself I can’t be upset if anyone needs a moment to digest the news. In my heart, I wholeheartedly believe none of my guests actually care, but I can’t ignore our upbringing. When you’re brought up to think a certain way, it’s beyond hard to shake those beliefs, even if you don’t share them.

I should know. Every day I have to remind myself that it doesn’t make me weak to open up to my men, and to let them see my insecurities. The only thing that keeps me trying is how much their eyes light up when I don’t hold back. Like when I told them about my dream, I could see the pride in their eyes even if no one said anything.

My dream… as much as Kai seems to believe we’ve worked out what it was about, I’m not so sure. I know this is real life, and I know there’s no hidden message from Morpheus, the Greek god of dreams. Yet, it feels like more. Like there’s something I should have already realized or worked out, something hiding in plain sight. And maybe I would have, if I wasn’t so tired all the damn time.

Instead of frustrating myself by focusing on what I don’t know, I’ve been thinking a lot about the honesty Arthur showed us when we witnessed his Heirs being chosen. So tonight, that’s going to be the theme—as well as inspiration and hope for a new beginning.

“Well, I for one am okay now that I’ve had all that liquid courage,” Morgana giggles, which is very unlike her. “I might even tell Arthur that Alexander is my biological dad.”

Since Lupa only shrugs, I’m assuming she already knows that her girlfriend is my half-sister. Gods, the more I think about everything, the less I feel like I understand. Yep, it’ll be good to get it all out in the open, because I’m starting to lose track of who knows what.

“You look amazing, Cia.” Lupa moves a tendril of hair from my neck, weaving it into my long braid. “And—” Before she can finish, Morgana yanks her girlfriend’s hand away from me.

“Don’t touch her like that,” she hisses, jealousy bleeding into her words.

I can’t help laughing at the look of incredulity on Lupa’s face. “Are you for fucking real?” she asks, placing her hands on her hips. “We. Are. Just. Friends.”

When they both turn to look at me, I shrug. “I wouldn’t want any of my men touching another woman like that.” Shrugging, I bite down on my lip to stop myself from laughing more. “Then again, you have all the wrong parts for me to be interested.” Lupa laughs as I repeat the words she once spoke back when I wrongly assumed she was showing interest in Liam.

“Seems fair to me, Nereid.” I spin around at Kai’s voice and see him leaning against the door. “Even I can admit I don’t like you touching anyone but me, Gus, or Liam—regardless of whether it’s men or women.” While Morgana smirks like she’s just been given a prize, Lupa purses her lips. “I just came in here to let you know Remus has arrived.”

At the mention of the Russo Leader’s arrival, Lupa pales, and I hate how nervous she looks. I get it, though. It’s one thing that she’s always been open about her sexuality, it’s another altogether to announce she’s in a relationship with a prominent figure from another family. Then there’s the added fact that Morgana grew up as a Hatt, but is actually the daughter of the former Drákon Leader—and that she’s now the acting Leader of my family. As I said, it’s all too convoluted and confusing.

I open my mouth to say something reassuring, closing it again when Kai beats me to it. “For whatever it’s worth, I think you’re both doing the right thing. And you have my full support.” While they stare slack-jawed at their Ruler, I’m brimming with pride for my husband. Kai walks fully into the guest room we’re occupying. “Besides, my wife is right about one thing. It’s time to get everything out in the open. That’s the only way we can move forward.”

It’s not until I notice both women looking awkwardly around, I realize Morgana still needs to get changed. I take Kai’s hand and drag him out of the guest bedroom, telling them I’ll be back soon.

I pull him with me to the library, my new favorite room in the entire world. Sure, it’s not completely done yet, but it’s magnificent. The dark wooden floor to ceiling shelves give it an old look I love, and I can’t wait to finish doing the room up.

Walking closer to Kai, I let my eyes rake over him as I take in the way his dark suit is hugging him in the most delicious way. Since his Ruler’s colors are white, black and gold, much like the Drákon colors, I think this is one of the first times I see him wearing black while dressed up.

At first, he wasn’t open to my suggestion of shedding our colors tonight, but he came around yesterday. I don’t know what specifically changed his mind, I’m glad he did, though. If for no other reason, than because of how sinfully handsome he looks.

“You look amazing, Nereid,” he rasps, pulling me flush against his body.

Winding my arms around his neck, I stand on my tiptoes so I can press my lips to his. “So do you, husband,” I purr.

Instead of kissing me, he takes a step back, running his eyes over every inch of my body. It makes me feel like my skin is on fire, and I love the possessive look in his gaze.

The black and gold cocktail dress I’m wearing dips so low in the front it reveals my navel, perfectly showing some of the scars given to me by Gus and Kai. Unlike most of my dresses, this one stops mid-thigh. You would think that made it easier to walk in, but no. It’s so tight I have to be careful with each step.

As Kai continues to devour me with his eyes alone, I nervously finger the scythe-shaped necklace that’s hanging between my breasts. A Kronos heirloom. Suddenly feeling nervous when he says nothing, I snap, “What?” Causing him to chuckle.

I don’t know why, maybe it’s the weird dynamic we have, but I’m nervous I’m not enough for him. If I’m being honest with myself, I’ve had that doubt since he disappeared from me in the hospital after saving my life. I know it’s not fair, but sometimes I wonder if he feels trapped. After all, events beyond our control threw us into this relationship. And now… now he’s my husband. Dear gods of Olympus, I still can’t believe I’m married.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, Nereid?” Kai asks, the gruff tenor of his voice making him sound annoyed. “Why are you looking upset? Did Morgana or Lupa say something?”

I quickly shake my head to reassure him that neither of my friends caused the change in my mood. I wring my hands in front of me, unsure of how to explain my insecurity. Even though I’ve promised not to keep secrets from my men, I can’t say I’m reveling in sharing my self-doubt.

It might not seem like a big deal, but it is. Even before my training to become Nikolaos’ Protégé, I was taught to be strong, to be confident. To rely on myself, and to… lead. Sharing my weakness feels remarkably like rolling over and showing my stomach to a much bigger predator. I know that’s not really what they’re asking me to do, and I do want to share. I just need to learn how to.

“Nereid,” he growls, his impatience palpable.

Closing my eyes, I try to come up with the words, but nothing useful comes to mind. “Kai,” I say, licking my dry lips. “You need to be patient with me. I promised not to hold anything back, and I won’t. Haven’t I done a great job since Christmas?” I ask, batting my eyelashes. When he continues to stare, I sigh, knowing any antics or attempts at changing the subject won’t work. “I’m trying, Kai. Honestly, I am. But that doesn’t mean I can explain everything just like that.”

“Look at me,” he says, almost unkindly, and I gulp. “Thank you for telling me.” Before I can even process the change in him, he pulls me back into his arms and claims my lips.

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