Page 55 of Payne's Envy

“Never. It just explains so much. Like your lack of wings, but it doesn’t matter. The mating instinct between us means we are compatible.”

Anger licked up my spine as I stood and flashed my large teeth. “So, you only desire me because of the heat?”

Maybe I couldn’t be civil with amnesiac Payne after all. Not with the fury festering inside me. With a roar, I attacked.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Deathraka

My mate never wanted to run, but she sure loved the fighting part of claiming. Ecstasy shot through my bloodstream as her teeth dug into my throat. She wrapped her lithe body around me, trying to cage in my arms and wings. I grabbed hold of her tail before she made any more progress.Although she was smaller than me, once she had me in a death grip, regaining control was difficult.

My cock threatened to erupt from its protective layer of skin as she squirmed and scratched. As my hand wrapped around her middle, I froze. Even my hands were bigger than her size. I let my claws slide down her long body. Would I harm her if we mated? When she hissed and whacked her tail against my head, my vision blackened for a moment.

No.I smacked my tail on the ground as pleasure warmed my stomach. She was made perfectly for me.

I nuzzled her neck as she continued to bite mine. As I ran my hands down her scales, I shifted us into our human forms. I moved my arms beneath her so I could hold her as she shrank.

“You are my mate. Of course, I desire you. You’re the only thing in any world I’ll ever desire.”

On my lap, she stilled and released her teeth. When she touched her wet mouth and looked at the blood on her fingers, she shuddered and covered her lips. Tears spilled as loud sobs exploded from her. My heart ached, and I held her closer.

“I’m sorry. Normally, I’m not so cruel, but I feel so out of control and—”

“Shh.” I placed my forehead against hers. “It’s the mating.”

“So, you say, but you don’t really know yourself.”

“Maybe I’ve never had the verbal confirmation you’d wish for. From what I can remember, no one’s told me what I am, or what I’m feeling.” I tapped my chest. “Everything I sense is here. It’s like I just know it’s the truth. Like how I knew exactly where my mate was without having ever seen her before. I saved you because of that.”

Her hands dropped from her face as she sniffled. “You have seen me. You’ve been seeing me your whole life, Payne.”

“I told you I am not this Payne,” I whispered as my grip on her tightened.

“Yes, you are,” she murmured as she cried once more.

“Hey.” I touched her chin and pulled her face closer to mine as I leaned down. She yanked her head to the side, so I spoke in her ear. “You will not cry over who I was. I will learn you, and you will rediscover me.”

I thought my words would help us, but she started hiccupping as she sobbed. Tears ran down as cheeks and her nose run. My heart felt like someone had yanked it out of my chest, especially when she blurred. I must have rubbed my eyes, but it didn’t help. My chest kept tightening so much it was suffocating. Something was very wrong. I didn’t like the feeling, especially not knowing what it was from.

When I shook my head, Joy stood in front of me, wiping her eyes. A youthful Joy. One unfamiliar and familiar all at once.

My gut twisted as I approached. She sensed me and turned, continuing to wipe her eyes. She hugged a tree in Grim’s woods like she might run behind it and hide. The green of envy stretched up her right arm. I was the reason I knew it, and bile rushed to my throat. I didn’t know what to say. Shame and disgust twisted me inside out from head to toe, even though I had no reason to be.

No matter how many times I ignored those feelings multiplying for Joy Reaper, they never disappeared. I only hurt myself. I loved her, but was terrified of how much I felt about one young girl. Young enough to know it was wrong. Since I’d had those emotions for her for as long as I remembered, I struggled to understand why it was wrong when she was my future.

I hurt her.

“Joy.”

“Please don’t come closer.” She sniffled.

“Joy,” I whispered as I stepped closer.

“I didn’t mean to walk in. When I sensed you were in the guest room near Sebastian’s, I thought you were alone.” She rubbed her arms, shaking her head once. “I knew better. Our parents were gone, and August brought all those elixirs home, and Sebastian invited those ladies…”

My throat burned as I swallowed down my apologies. “Joy.”

Disgust rolled through my churning stomach as I remembered the woman’s scent. The one I’d awakened next to. I had no plans to sleep with anyone. Never. I despised myself for letting Sebastian get me so drunk. As lighthearted as he was, he would never understand what he did. Or maybe he knew. He could be cruel sometimes, especially when he came to me around Joy.

---