Page 21 of Payne's Envy

“I can hear you,” I muttered.

“He’s entering something,” the curious one, Dirk I believed his name might be, muttered.

That caught my interest. “I’m what?”

“You’re experiencing some sort of change.” Dirk pointed at me before looking at Prudence. “You shouldn’t be around him. Creatures evolving—changinginto the next stage of their life—are seldom nice to be around.”

His words added to my fear. I was changing. That heat wasn’t quite like the time I hurt Joy. No, it was bigger, and Iwaschanging. And that fucking terrified me.

“It really pisses me off that you’re a know-it-all,” Prudence grumbled.

“Since you know everything, what kind of demon am I?” I locked eyes with Dirk.

After all those decades of searching, would that gremlin be the one to have the answer I sought?Please, please...

“You’re not a demon, but I don’t know what you are. I’ve never encountered such a scent as yours.”

My chest tightened. “Fucking thought so.”

____

The day went by excruciatingly slow. It was like every time I inhaled; I breathed in Joy, but she was nowhere close. I was stuck with her sister, who wouldn’t stop asking a billion questions about what was going on with me, like I had the first clue.

I’d never been glad to see a soul reaper until Shepherd arrived, so I could get away from Prudence. Since Grim allowed Shepherd to keep watch over her, they didn’t need me unless he wasn’t with her.

Finally, I worked alone. I stayed in the Underworld and tracked down every lead Reapers had for demons trying to enter the human world with stolen portal chips. I had a dozen chips in my pockets as the hours bled by. There was so much blood of every color on me. I wasn’t lucky, like Grim’s family. I couldn’t think of being clean and becoming clean. My shower didn’t come until I was back home. A lousy place I hadn’t been to in a while. I’d been at Grim’s castle since the human festival.

But it wasn’t enough. The fire in me never dimmed—it wouldn’t fucking sleep. So, I kept on. Eventually, I slipped off into the human world, descended the evil souls and ascended the good ones, but my driven need to kill put me back in the City of the Dead. I was so fucking happy to find a warlock preaching about Harvest and passing out flyers. Picking one up, I read a line before crumbling the paper in my palm.

Only the best may serve Harvest.

Poor demons. Harvest wanted them to think they’d be more than a pawn.

Inhaling sharply, saliva dripped down my chin as I panted. I swore the memory of Joy was in my veins at that point. The harder I tried to stay away from her, the more I denied myself, the stronger my desire grew. I always wondered what it would feel like to reach a point where I couldn’t bottle all my feelings for her anymore. What would happen when I could no longer love her in silence?

I didn’t think it would be so painful. That my love for her would be consumed by lust, pushing out of my pores, sweating through me, and killing me. I thought once I found the way to keep her safe from my touch, I could woo her. Take her on those dates I knew she adored from her human movies. Cook her meals instead of her materializing something for us to eat. Take her to dance somewhere atop a hill in the mortal world where there were stars, a real moon, or sun she treated so preciously. Mundane things were so priceless to her. I witnessed the green of her curse snake up her arms as she watched humans over the decades. She was envious of their short time on Earth. Adored the insignificant lives they created because of how hard some of them loved. Joy lovedlove.And I wanted to give it to her because she deserved that.

I wanted to undress her slowly. First, with my eyes. Tease her relentlessly over a span of dates. Give her caresses without harming her. Let myself fall into that madness slowly.

But that heat had other plans. It didn’t care about my ideas or dreams. Didn’t care about anything but Joy’s body beneath me, or on all fours, as I plowed into her. The change within me didn’t care that my touch could send her into another coma.

Tears pricked my eyes as I shoved through the crowd of demons until I stood before the warlock.

“Reaper—”

I grabbed him by the throat. My emotions were everywhere. A dozen distinct moments of Joy smiling my way flashed through my head. A hundred more images of her happiness fading as I walked away trumped the previous ones. The times I hurt her had to replace all the good ones we shared. Releasing his neck to grab his shoulder, I roared, and my lungs burned from its force.

My eyes zeroed in on his throat. I saw claws, blood, and so many images of limbs not belonging to me. But it was my teeth against his flesh that became the reality. Screams tore through the demons. Someone grabbed me from behind as blood squirted in my face and mouth. I had so much bone and skin in my mouth, I couldn’t close my mouth, so I spat it out. The metallic taste was foul as I tried to push the blood out with my tongue. The warlock wheezed; a pathetic gargling pooled from his lips. I squeezed his neck until his eyes bled and his windpipe crushed inside my grip.

One by one, I killed all those that dared to think the end approaching could take my mate.

I wasn’t tired when I returned to the castle, but I couldn’t remember the last time I slept, either. After fighting the urge to return all day, I ignored my aching cock in the shower as I washed off the blood and grit. Joy had returned from her Reaper work for the night because her scent was woven throughout the house. It was misery and ecstasy all in one. And I knew I’d go visit her, or the heat would drive me crazier.

I bit a warlock, punched through an ogre’s flesh, and killed with my bare hands all day.

My actions didn’t shock me, but I was terrified because I sensed the change in me. I didn’t know what was happening to me, and a part of me was thinking I’d never get answers. Most of all, I feared myself because of Joy. I didn’t know how long she’d be safe from me.

I knew what I had to do. I had to tell Grim. If I got too out of control and put Joy in another coma, I’d never forgive myself. I didn’t think I had much self-discipline left.

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