Page 54 of She will Always be Mine

Funny how the roles have reversed.

I haven’t even told her about her nightmare that I walked in on. I almost forgot all about it in the chaos of the morning, which reminds me to check my phone again.

But nope, I haven’t heard anything from him. It unnerves me that I almost miss Mom’s next words.

“It’s not good for you to stay stuck inside your room all day.”

Is she really trying to care for me now?How sweet.

My emotions are already too frayed and raw that I feel like I’m going to burst any second. I’m trying so hard to keep up with these secrets, faking happiness every day in front of Dad and Pri, that my frustration is fighting to come to the surface while my mom’s behavior is giving me a serious case of whiplash.

Besides, does she really think it’s that easy to pretend that the last month never happened? Suddenly, I feel deeply angry with her for even trying.

“Where was this concern the past month?” I snap.

Shock then hurt crosses her features.

Good. She needs to feel the burn.

“Nyra,” she sighs. “I’m only trying to do what’s best for you.”

I chuckle dryly and accuse, “Do you really expect me to believe that after you ignored me for days? Where were you when I needed my mom? I promised to forget about him, so now you love me again?”

When my voice breaks at the end, she steps closer and tries to hold my arm but I pull away. As I stare at her, I realize I’ve been just as angry and hurt by her as she’s been by me.

All this time, I was burying these feelings, blaming myself day and night for our broken relationship that I stopped caring about how it affected me.

I understood her pain, her horror and anger as a result of my actions, but she never made the same effort for me.

She abandoned me when I needed her the most.

She never gave me a chance to explain.

Even now, she’s only here, caring for me because she believes she finally won.

“I know I should’ve come to you sooner and I’m sorry,beta,” she says. “I made a mistake and handled it all wrong. Instead of being delicate and helping you with your confused feelings, I left you to deal with it all alone. So please, let me be there for you now.”

“I wish you had said this that night,” I whisper, pushing a wayward tear away. “Besides, you shouldn’t worry anymore. Riaan is out of my life for good. Isn’t that what you wanted all along?”

“Not like this.”

Giving her my back, I tell her. “Please leave.”

I sense her hesitation but I make no move until I hear the door close behind me, and then I let myself fall apart. As if it wasn’t enough, my phone finally pings in perfect or should I say—badtiming.

UNKNOWN:Hmm… I expected that.

UNKNOWN:Maybe this will convince you. ;)

Below it, is a blurry video that pulls the rug out from beneath me, dragging me straight to hell. I already know what I’ll hear before even playing it, yet I can’t stop myself.

“Ahh… Riaan,” I hear myself moan.

“Cum all over my fingers.” He curses.

“Yes.”

I don’t watch the rest of it. He’s already ruined enough memories for me and I can’t take it anymore. The walls are closing in on me as I sit on the bed with my head hanging low. I think about the choices laid ahead of me and each of their dire consequences.

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