Page 20 of Heart Sick

“Everything can be changed. You just need to ask the right questions. You are the decider of your own fate.”

Did she get that from a fortune cookie because, what in the actual hell?

I roll my eyes because that doesn’t help. Nor is it right. I can’t change the fact Misha is dead. Sure, I can change my response to the situation, but the situation itself is permanent.

What a thoughtless comment, no wonder Bowie scoffs, losing his temper. “That is just fucking stupid,” he retorts, shaking his head. “Did you learn that in your crash psychology course because a trained specialist wouldn’t say such a dumb-ass thing?”

Jade clears her throat, her cheeks turning red. “I have been a practicing therapist for ten years. There is no room for hostility in the circle. This is a safe place for everyone.”

“Again, something learned from your shrink handbook?”

He is baiting her and I guess she’s not used to it because she is accustomed to getting what she wants, thanks to her good looks. But Bowie is immune to her charms, it appears.

“I don’t feel very safe with you telling me I can change something which is really fucking permanent. How about you?” Bowie looks at the middle-aged guy, two seats down from him, and grins, drawing attention to the fact he has his hand down his pants, jerking off frantically and using Jade as inspiration.

Some gasp, horrified, while most laugh. Jade doesn’t see the funny side in this, however. “Merlin, what did we discuss about that? That is something you do in private.”

“Looks like Merlin’s fondness for jerking off in public is another thing which can’t be changed. Isn’t that right?” Bowie extends his wrist toward Merlin, who fist bumps him, thankfully with the hand which is not down his pants.

“Did Jade ask you the right questions, Merlin?”

A maniacal laugh erupts from Merlin as his actions grow faster. “No! No! No!” he singsongs, bouncing in his seat.

“Merlin, that is enough!” Jade declares, finally losing her cool. “If you do not stop, I will have you taken away and restrained to your bed for a week!”

“I thought this was a safe place, Doc?” Bowie counters, arching a challenging brow. “I thought anything can be changed by asking the right questions?”

His tenancy, it reminds me so much of Misha. I can’t help but feel I am looking at him right now.

“Merlin is being punished because he likes pussy…pussy which should probably wear a bra to therapy.”

Jade’s mouth falls open and I don’t know if she’s insulted by Bowie’s comment, or the fact he isn’t jerking off to her like Merlin is.

A laugh suddenly escapes me, and it surprises me because it’s the first time I’ve laughed since Misha died.

I attempt to quash my laughter, but the harder I try, the more difficult it is to contain. My cheeks hollow from trying so hard to stop, but I soon give up and burst into uncontrollable laughter. Soon, the entire room bursts in, and when some patients jump on their chairs, their hilarity akin to feeding hyenas, I know the session is over.

I look at Bowie, who sits back, proudly watching the mayhem he created.

Orderlies come running into the room, attempting to subdue the frenzied patients. But it soon turns into a game of chase as the patients run and the orderlies run after them, all except for Bowie and I, as we remain seated, watching one another.

His confidence is sexy, as are his convictions because it’s apparent he stands up for what he believes in.

The pandemonium lashes around us, but everything soon fades into the background because it’s just Bowie and I. We openly take the other in, appearing just as mesmerized by the other. I don’t know, but he looks and feels so…familiar.

It feels as if we have met before.

My heart begins a deafening staccato and it’s bittersweet as it’s a reminder that Misha’s heart beats within the chest of another.

Dutch…

When Bowie looks at me, it feels like he can see me, the real me. It’s scary and exhilarating, all in the same breath.

“Come with me.” Noah latches on to Bowie’s arm, yanking him up, breaking our almost trancelike exchange.

Bowie rises casually, a slanted smirk slapped on his handsome face.

“You won’t be smiling when I throw your ass into the vault.”

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