Page 105 of Muskoka Blue

“You know I can’t.”

“Stay with Ange,” he blurted. “Stay with me.”Marry me.

“Dan, I—”

He couldn’t bear to hear her protest, so he pulled her near and pressed his lips to hers. Sarah sighed as their kiss lengthened, twining his hair in her fingers and kissing him deeply, more deeply still, twisting in her seat to press closer, closer, even closer.

He’d never forget the feel of her lips, the softness, the sweetness, the sense of breathing her in. Her lips were so inviting he pulled her as near as he dared, but still she didn’t resist.Oh man.

His lips teased hers apart and all he was aware of was this moment of melting intimacy. This was so nice, so good, too good. His senses whirled, screaming at him to stop, until finally he wrenched away, lungs heaving. “You kiss way too good.”

She touched her swollen lips, which curved upward. “Are you complaining?”

His lips felt weighted as he attempted to echo her smile. “It just leads to trouble.”

“It doesn’t have to.”

But it had.The secret pressed in, heavy on his heart, up, filling his mouth. He wanted to say, needed to say, was almost out of time to say—

“Dan, I love you.”

“I love you too, but…”

“But what?”

Oh, Lord.

It was time for the truth to come out.

Chapter 26

Sarah shivered. Something was very wrong. Dan was holding her hand tightly, but his hand was clammy and he wasn’t looking at her. She could faintly hear the television in the front room, tuned to New Year’s Eve celebrations from around the world. She’d already seen the spectacular Sydney Harbour Bridge fireworks several times throughout the day. North America now awaited its turn.

She glanced at the kitchen clock. Only twenty minutes until midnight. What did Dan need to say that was so important? He wasn’t going to ask a certain question, was he? Anyway, if that were the case, he’d be happier-looking, wouldn’t he? Not looking like this, like he wanted to be sick.

Although she well understood that feeling. She pressed against the dull ache in her forehead. She’d barely slept the past few nights, her stupid fears about what she needed to say and the coming separation making it hard to find rest. When they’d kissed earlier she’d found it so hard to let go, as a kind of desperate hunger for his lips had made her embrace him in a way she never had before. It was just as well Dan was such an honorable guy; these sensations she had when with him made her feel almost wanton, definitely not like a minister’s daughter.Thank You, God, that there are still gentlemen in the world. She squeezed his hand, noting his flinch before he lifted her hand to his lips, giving the back of it a lingering kiss.

Her insides tensed. She really had to speak to him now. But Dan wasn’t happy. Why? “Dan?”

He turned to face her.

“What’s wrong?”

* * *

Dan swallowed.He couldn’t bear to destroy these last few hours together with the truth. But maybe she’d be okay. He’d been praying she’d be okay for months now. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

“Oh, Dan, there’s something I need to tell you too—”

“Please, let me go first.” He had to get this out. Any interruption might lock the secret in his heart forever. “I wondered if I should even tell you, but when Brendan mentioned it tonight, I realized secrets have a way of coming out. And I want to be completely honest with you.”

He squeezed Sarah’s hand one more time. “No one knows this except the people involved, and John and Ange. I told you something of it before in Muskoka. You asked me about forgiving myself and, well, it was about this.”

“Okay,” she said slowly.

“I was young, brash, and full of myself.” He tried to tiptoe through the memories, picking out the ones that were real yet didn’t expose him too much. “As you know I didn’t grow up in a Christian home, didn’t really think too much about God, and didn’t care much about what I did or the results of my actions. When I got drafted, I went to Pittsburgh, playing there until I got traded to Toronto nearly eight years ago.” He swallowed. “Lana was a girl I got to know too well.”

Sarah watched him warily. “Too well? You mean—?”

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