Page 38 of Your Hand in Mine

Sienna makes her way over to Tyler and gives him the hug that I should be offering. “Sit down, Tyler. I’ll make you a plate.”

“No, thanks.” He pats his middle. “Just ate.”

Leo shifts his chair back and stands up again. Looking to me he says, “I’ll start getting Olivia ready to go and meet you out in the car.” He looks to Sienna and Garth. “It was nice to meet you both, and congratulations on James again. And thank you for lunch, Sienna. It was great.”

“Anytime. And I should be thanking you…I think I may have found myself a new babysitter.” Reaching down to lift the baby, Sienna says, “Olivia, I’m so happy you came and helped us with James today. He’s about to go down for his nap now. Can you bring the little lion you got for him? I think he’d like you to put that with the other toys in his room.”

Sienna’s good. She’s got those diversion tactics down to a science already. Instead of protesting, Olivia hops up and follows my sister inside with the stuffed animal and then comes back out smiling a minute later. “James is taking a nap.”

Leo has gone out to the car with Olivia’s dress and sparkly shoes while I busy myself gathering up the rest of our things. Garth takes two beers out of the fridge and hands one to Tyler.

“Libs, let’s take our stuff out to the car.” I look back to the guys. “Tell Sienna I’ll be right back.”

It takes just a few steps to get to the car, but in that short time I get soaked because I’m using my coat to shield Olivia. The rain has picked up again and the cold, biting wind seems fitting. I can’t even look at Leo as I strap Olivia in. “Be back in a second, ok?”

“Take your time,” he answers.

Tyler is waiting for me when I come back inside shivering and Garth has disappeared.

“Can we talk for a minute, Sky?”

“Sure, and I’m…I’m sorry that was so weird before.” I peel off my sweater and throw a spare flannel over my damp t-shirt. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

He lets out a sad laugh. “I keep coming by hoping to catch you but my timing has been for shit lately.” He shakes his head and then fixes his sad eyes on mine. “Are you with him?”

“No! He’s my boss, that’s it. He just drove today because Olivia was looking forward to it and the weather was terrible. No…Leo? No.”

I want to suck the words back in as I’m spitting them out, knowing I doth protest way, way,waytoo much. In a desperate effort to change the subject, I turn the tables on him. “Are you still with Lila?”

“I’ve never beenwithher, Sky. Never the way I was with you. If I thought for one second I had a chance with you then I’d never set eyes on her or anyone else again. You know that, don’t you?”

I want to turn to sand, to disintegrate and blow away. I can’t face him, can’t bring myself to hurt him more than I already have. “I’m sorry,” is all I can manage. “I’m sorry, Tyler.”

I don’t look up, so I don’t see him make his way to the door. I only hear the howling wind and the rain as it pelts against the trailer’s aluminum siding. Sienna and Garth come back into the main room to find me shaking.

“Oh, Sky,” my sister says as she wraps me in her arms. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. That was just…” I take a deep breath. “I’ll call you tonight. I don’t want to leave them waiting too long.”

I give Garth a quick hug and then run back outside into the rain.

“Are you good?” he asks as he takes me in and then turns the heat up high.

“Yeah, I’m ready to go.”

We drive the first half hour in silence. Olivia is awake for the first fifteen minutes or so, and then I look back to see her heavy lids closing. Leo keeps his eyes fixed straight ahead and I’m grateful for it. I don’t want to face him just yet.

Nothing really happened, I tell myself. There was no show down, no drama. When I texted Leo and told him to come for lunch he declined at first, texting back that he didn’t want to intrude on my family time. But then he relented when I told him Sienna and Garth wanted to meet him and that she’d made her famous fish tacos, a dish he’d regret missing out on. It was casual and easy at the table with them. I was relaxed and happy. But now I feel exposed for some reason. I’m embarrassed.

“I take it that guy is your boyfriend or he was at some point?” He looks to me before setting his eyes back on the road. Echoing my words from before, he adds, “You can tell me to can it if you don’t want to talk about it.”

I don’t want to talk about it, but at the same time I do. It’s stupid, this need I have to clarify that I am, in fact, unattached. It’s not like Leo cares. He has no memory whatsoever of that night. I’m sure of it.

“We broke up a few weeks after my parents died.”

“He doesn’t seem like he’s taking it all that well.”

“You got that from what? From that minute-long exchange?”

---