Page 85 of Mafie Kings

I’m standing here naked and vulnerable, but for the first time I feel like those memories aren’t weighing me down. So I hug her back, grateful for my friend and the comfort she brings.

“It’s okay,” I tell her. “I’ve moved past a lot of it. I think the video just made it all hit me again.”

We separate slowly and she helps me into the shower. I sit down at the bench under a few jets and get to work cleaning the blood off my leg. It looks like the nurses, or someone, wiped it down, but there’s still a good bit on the back side of my legs. I take my time, washing a second time to get rid of the iron smell. Then I get to work shaving.

Laney waits patiently, sitting on the toilet and telling me some of the stuff she’s been learning in class this week. I’m not happy about making up all of the work, but I am relieved other things have been happening so that maybe the video isn’t quite so fresh on everyone's mind. It’s not that I care what the students think about me, it’s more so how I’ll be perceived by our instructors.

Finally, when I feel like a human again, Laney dries my hair for me adding extra argan oil to help refresh its shine. I almost feel like a different person by the time she helps me back to bed. I notice my sheets have been changed and Lev’s white blanket is gone.

Damien walks in as I crawl onto the bed. “There was a little bit of blood on the blanket so it’s getting washed. Should be done by nine-ish,” he says. “Do you girls need more time or can I have her?” He looks over to Laney. She glances at me for a decision but I just shrug. If she wants to stay then I’m happy to have her but it’s her choice.

“I’ll go, but I expect her all to myself next Sunday. And I’ll be back over more this weekend.”

“Sounds good,” Damien tells her. “Lev can get you a key to our place so you don’t have to knock.”

Once Laney leaves, Damien jumps onto the bed and pulls me into his lap. I doze on and off, happy not to be plagued by the nightmares when I close my eyes.

Chapter 40

My feet hit the pavement, one after the other. I’m out of breath, but my brain doesn't register that. All I can think is I need to keep moving. I duck under a tree branch, swerving to the right in an attempt to evade my captors. My legs ache, but I refuse to let them catch me. The building up ahead begins to come into view. I could cry with relief if I had the time.

I jerk the door to the gym open with all of my might. If I can just get to the locker room, this will all be over. The lights are out, but I know this place like the back of my hand. Quickly and quietly, I sneak past the mats and the workout equipment, careful not to trip over the deadlift platform.

I quietly open the locker room door as I sneak inside, and lock it behind me. The lights in here are usually motion triggered but they aren’t coming on. A bad feeling settles into my gut as I move around carefully, attempting to find the light switch.

I focus on my breathing, trying not to let the dark room get to me and throw me into a bad memory. I reach out my hand and it comes into contact with a body.

Shit.

I try to turn around except the time it takes me to unlock the door gives them the advantage. A hand goes around my mouth as another goes around my waist.

“Gotcha.” Damien's voice practically sings in my ear.

“Fuck you,” I yell through his hand.

He just chuckles under his breath before letting me go and flipping on the lights. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust, and Damien and Lev are standing right in front of me.

“I thought I had you guys that time. How did you get in here so quickly?”

For the past three months, we’ve been instructed to create scenarios of evading the enemy for our combat class. Since the Kings and I are at the top of the class, and allegedly kept disrupting the other students, the instructor asked Alexi to help him with complex demonstrations while Lev, Damien, and I get to create these fun games.

It’s helping to build my confidence in a lot of ways. We experiment with car chase scenarios and full hand-to-hand combat, even using some weapons. Although, rubber blades don’t fly nearly as easily as my light, shiny, stainless steel ones do.

We take turns pairing with each other and being on our own. Usually, I win. But lately, they’ve been catching onto my tricks.

“Came in the back door and hired another student to chase you so you would think you had the advantage,” Lev says grinning.

“Clever,” I admit, smiling back at him. He approaches me and pulls me in for a kiss.

Lev and Damien come to my room every night so we can talk about our day and just relax together. I can tell they’ve been getting closer to each other. In fact, most nights they sleep in the same bed.

For me, kissing is as far as things have gone with either of them since the video. They haven’t pushed for anything else. While part of me is grateful to have time to heal and move past the trauma, I also worry that they don’t want me in that way. Lev and I may have had sex, but Damien and I have only had that night in the woods and that moment in the gym.

I push those thoughts out of my mind and embrace the kiss. If this is all they want from me, then I can give it to them. They’ve been there for me constantly over the past three months. Lev can see me struggling in class before I even realize it. He’s always there with notes or advice. Damien seems to have a sixth sense for when I start to spiral into the bad thoughts mentally. Since the night terrors resumed, he comes in every time he hears me wake up and holds me until I fall back to sleep. They haven’t been too bad lately, and part of me wonders if it’s because my brain knows he will be there when I wake up.

I haven’t had any shaking or nausea since I woke up from the six-day slumber. My therapist talked with Doc and helped adjust some of my medication so maybe it’s actually helping now. I’m always able to go back to sleep when Damien’s there, which never could have happened before. Without fail though, he’s gone by morning.

“Let’s go get breakfast,” Damien says. “I’m starving!”

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