Page 33 of Never Give Up

As I wait, I finally unlock my phone for the first time in a week and am hit by countless texts, missed calls, and voicemails. Family, friends, and people I didn’t even think cared, all checking in. The love and concern soothe me a little more and I send a mass text message in response.

Maya

This is for everyone who sent me a message in the past week. Thank you for your concern. I’m home and going back to work. Unfortunately, I can’t give any information because it’s an open investigation. But I’m okay, and I’ll talk to you as I’m able. I ask that you respect my privacy and trust that when I’m ready, I’ll give you an update.

Almost instantly, my hand starts vibrating with incoming notifications. Instead of looking at the messages, I sign into Facebook and post a similar message on my wall, without the first line. I turn off notifications and close out the app.

Ignoring them, I message Poppy and let her know what is taking so long to get to work. As I put my phone back in my pocket, someone knocks on the window.

I jump nearly out of my skin and may have screeched a little, but it’s Paul so I quickly take a few deep breaths to calm down. It’s not like he’s not prepared for me to panic, after all.

He’s smiling the entire time.

The big, tall man opens the door for me and pulls me into a hug.

“Hey, I’m so glad you’re okay. It’s good to have you back. Let’s get going.”

Paul puts me down and grins, warmth and affection shining in his light-blue eyes.

He’s older and has the face of a police officer who has seen too much in his time. But his eyes are soft as they look down at me, and I can imagine how his children feel when he looks at them. There’s complete acceptance in them, and for what feels like the fiftieth time in the last week, I try not to cry in his arms.

“In case you’re wondering, no one knows exactly what happened, Maya. Nothing gets released until it goes to trial, so I didn’t think it needed to be broadcasted.” He pulls me into another brief hug. “Not to strangers, not to your co-workers. All that’s up to you to share or not share whenever you’re ready. They’re going to respect your privacy no matter what.”

“Thanks. It means a lot.” I sniff and brush wayward tears away from my eyes and take a breath to gain composure.

“Okay, let’s go.”

His black SUV is parked on the street, and I walk to the passenger side.

“Um, Paul? I might need help getting into this beast.” It isn’t lifted, but it still has runningboards to get into it, and I’m not sure I can balance on it and get in at the same time, not with my cast.

“Oh shit, I didn’t think of that. One second.”

He comes around to the passenger side and picks me up, depositing me in the front seat. Then he grabs a sweatshirt from the floor and puts it between my stomach and the seat belt and buckles me in with care.

“Thank you. That’s a huge help.”

After we start to drive to the station, he says, “Okay, so we need to cover a few things.”

“Like what?” Trepidation suddenly takes hold.

He sighs. “Well, some things have changed a little while you’ve been out.”

The anxiousness recedes a little.

“Oh, I know the election is over for sheriff. Has he decided who his chief deputy is going to be yet?”

“You’re looking at him,” he says with a smile.

“Oh, that’s great! Congratulations!” Paul really does deserve it. He’s been with the department longer than the sheriff, but he’s happy on patrol and in a supervisory capacity. He always thought the sheriff had too much administrative work. The position of chief deputy will be perfect for him.

“But we both know that’s not what I’m talking about.” He smiles at me, censure in his eyes.

I frown, all good feelings evaporating on the spot. “Come on, Paul. You know I’m ready to be back at work.”

Instead of answering me, he coughs and pays attention to the road. It lasts all of a minute before he turns back to me and coughs again.

“Look. Like I said, we both know what this is about.” He goes on. “I just need it to be said. You can’t go there. Not in your condition. You’ll end up getting your heart broken every time you look at him. So, I’m not going to justnotsay anything.”

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