Page 29 of Never Give Up

The conversation should end there, but it doesn’t.

“I thought I was going to die.”

Her words and voice cut deeper than anything else in my life ever has, which is saying something since I walked into my house once and found my wife dead.

“I thought I was going to die, and I haven’t even lived yet, Brian. Do you know what that’s like? To sit right on the brink of death and not have anything to look back on with happiness?”

When I don’t answer immediately, a hollow laugh comes from her lips, and it’s worse than the sad smile I never want to see on her face again.

“No. You don’t.” She motions toward the door with her cast. “You’ve got two of the most wonderful boys in the entire world waiting for you every night when you go home. You’ve got…” Maya trails off, wiping her eyes, and I stare helplessly at her hands. Because I want to be the one brushing the tears from her cheeks. “Everything.”

Before I can say anything, the door opens and Jonathan stands there with a smile on his face and a pair of scrubs on his body that definitely weren’t there when he left the room.

“We’re gonna be surgeons, Dad. Just like the ones who saved Maya.”

“Yeah,” James pipes up right behind him. “So we can save people, too.”

Hours later, I’m staring at my phone, wishing I had the courage to send her a message.

I don’t have everything.

Not even close.

If I had everything, I’d have her.

10

MAYA

The hardest thingI have ever done in my life wasn’t fighting the man who tried to kill me. It wasn’t telling Brian that I wanted a chance with him.

No.

The hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life is walk up the stairs the night I come home from the hospital to lay claim to the remnants of my life.

Summoning every last bit of my courage, I throw open my bedroom door and prepare myself for the horror of what had to be left behind from my assault.

Instead, I find an immaculate room that looks nothing like I’d been imagining for the last week. A new mattress sits in the corner on a frame that I’ve never seen before, and on it a brand-new comforter and sheet set.

There’s no sign of the damage that was caused or the blood left behind. The window has new curtains that have been left open, and the new alarm is in place and active on the window. Tears sting my eyes at the kindness someone has paid me.

“Girl, you deserve the best.” Brandi speaks up from behind me, and I spin and grab her. Squeezing her in the tightest hug I can manage, I cry.

“Thank you, so much. I mean it.” I can’t stop the tears but I’m not even sure I want to.

“It’s nothing,” Brandi says with a smile. “My boss bought it, and it hasn’t been used so I just commandeered it and she said it was fine. Really. But we should get your bed made. Because it looks like it needs to be slept on.”

We make it together, Brandi doing the majority of the work because even if I pretend that I’m invincible, I’m in so much pain it isn’t funny. When we’re done, a huge sense of relief spreads through me and tension I didn’t know I was carrying just evaporates.

Brandi looks at me for a moment, like she wants to say something. Instead, she moves to the doorway and stands there for a few minutes and I stare at the window in my room. It feels almost normal. There’s still some negative energy, but I feel clean instead of dirty like I thought I would.

“Maya, I’m right down the hall if you need me. Just shout. I’ll wake you up before I leave for work in the morning so you know I’m gone.” Brandi looks at me with a concerned smile.

I know that the night is going to be tough, but I push the thought aside. “Okay, love. I’ll see you tomorrow. I think I’m going to sleep with the door open, okay?”

“You do what you need to.” Brandi hugs me and then goes to her room, but leaves the door open as well. “I think I’ll leave mine open too.”

“Good night, Brandi.” I don’t tell my roommate I’m thankful to have a woman in my life who makes me feel safe, even when the world is falling down around my shoulders.

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