Page 30 of Never Give Up

I don’t know how to find the right words.

With tears in her eyes, Brandi sniffles and says, “Night, mama,” then she turns away.

I wake up the next morning without realizing I’d even fallen asleep, covered in sweat and a silent scream on my lips.

With a sigh, I get up, careful of the pull of my stomach and the cast on my arm.

In the hall I hear the sound of water flowing from the shower. I can go downstairs to the other bathroom but I don’t look forward to the needless trek up and down the stairs when my stitches are starting to itch and my entire body is throbbing.

“Hey, B. I need to pee.” I knock on the door. The rain patter of the shower stops and Brandi walks out in a robe.

“Go ahead. Sorry if I woke you up.” She steps around me and goes to her room.

“No, but I’m sorry if I wokeyou. I was covered in sweat when I got up. Did I embarrass myself? Scream?”

“It’s no big deal. I just threw a pillow at you and called it good when you shut up.” She pauses at her door as I go into my room and pick up the pillow on the floor next to my bed that I’d missed earlier.

“This?” I hold it out to Brandi.

“Yep. That one. I’d have woken you up for real but you settled down as soon as you heard my voice.”

“Thanks,” I say as Brandi takes the pillow.

After I use the bathroom, I go back to my room and get my clothes for work, and a blanket and pillow.

“I’m going to camp out in the living room while you go to work.”

About the time my arms are already full, I realize carrying everything will be a struggle, so I’ll have to improvise.

Instead of holding my bundle while I go down and possibly fall and break my neck, I throw it to the bottom of the stairs and then slowly make my way down to the living room. When I reach the last step, I kick the pillow and blanket out of my way, where I use the edge of the coffee table to reach down and gather them into my arms.

Once I make a bed on the couch, I set the alarm next to me for three in the afternoon, and I cuddle into the couch cushions and fall into a deep sleep.

When the alarm blares on the table next to me, I sit up and rub my face. Brandi sits on the couch next to me, reading a book. Her presence is the ridiculously soothing amazingness that I didn’t realize I need.

“Morning,” I say to Brandi, even though it’s in the afternoon and nowhere near morning.

“Have you been sleeping this whole time?” she asks without looking up from her romance novel about vampires. I know it’s about vampires because she stole it from my library.

“Yeah, and I’m not sorry about it either.” I half smile. “I could have slept another six hours, too.”

“No reason to be. You need to heal, girl. Sleep as much as you want.” She keeps reading, ignoring me.

I change into my work clothes right there. Black yoga pants, since I can’t wear anything that constricts my stomach, along with my work shirt over a spaghetti strap top. Without looking, I put my hair up into a sloppy bun. “There, I’m ready.”

“Have I ever mentioned how much I hate that you look fabulous, even after being in the hospital and almost dying? You do all of it without ever even trying.”

Brandi has no qualms about mentioning the attack, and I’m thankful for my friend in that moment. She doesn’t make it seem like a deep dark secret. It’s just something that happened. And now? Now I get to move on with my life.

“Nah, I just don’t care what I look like.” I’m not lying. I’m just happy to be going back to work. “Okay, well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

My shift is my normal one, four p.m. until four a.m., and sometimes the two of us go days without actually seeing each other.

“Bye,” Brandi calls from over her book, never looking up. “Oh, don’t forget your fancy new bracelet.”

“Yeah, I might need that.” I go to the table and pick up the bracelet in question, a GPS tracking and security device that I bought online when Brandi and I were looking for machetes to buy for the house.

I open the door and run directly into a hard body. My brain floods with adrenaline and I shriek, pushing back against him before he can react. When I notice the brown uniform, I pause and catch my breath. “Fricking shit, Jake. What the hell?”

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