Page 238 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

I try to swallow the lump that’s appeared in my throat as he says what he first did over three years ago now, but it escapes as a painful sob. Seconds pass before I can speak.

“I feel it, Irish.” My voice is barely a whisper.

“You see, every day since I met you in that old admin office that stunk of lavender, I prayed to God that he would let you be mine.”

He takes my hand in his and squeezes it gently.

“I love you so fucking much, Jaine. Right from that very first moment, I knew you were it for me. I’ve refused to let you go because I truly believe that we were meant in every life that’s ever been and in every life that’s yet to be. You have always been my end game.”

I nod with a watery smile, then look straight ahead. “I reckon you’re right. I reckon I was born to be yours, Irish.”

In our life, we need to grab love and happiness where we can, so follow your heart and don’t try to second guess what it’s telling you.

That moment right there, where I’m staring across the little graveyard with the uneven stones, is where everything suddenly makes sense. All of my past, all of my present, and all of my future were built around three men who made me who I am, and I am so grateful for all of them.

Ace. Eoin. Irish.

Irish tilts my chin and places a soft kiss against my lips. It’s not heated. It’s full of promise and anticipation. I stare at the boy that I’ve loved since I was nineteen, his face filled with hope.

Is love really all that matters? I reckon it is.

Maybe it’s not something you need for balance, but someone.

I smile then at the realization. Duke was right. I stare at Padraig O’Connell, knowing I finally have my missing balance.

CHAPTEREIGHTY

PADRAIG

St. Peter’s Church, Upper East Side, New York

With her headon my shoulder and my arm wrapped around her, we sit and talk until the sun starts to set.

I’m hoping this can be our place moving forward. The cheating allegation tarnished our time at Yale. The boating lake will always be known as where she lost the will to live. As much as it’s a ruin for now, this little church will forever hold me in its grasp, the same as she always will.

I love it. I love her.

I’m well aware my next suggestion could go either way, but it’s my opinion that we have to fully move on if we’re to be together. I love my big brother, but she has to let him go just as he’s let her go.

I stand, then offer her my hand, smiling when she places hers in mine. I pull her to her feet and wrap my arm around her slim waist. “Jessie’s going to ride your hog back to your apartment, Jaine. You’re staying with me tonight.”

“Why?” She frowns as she looks up at me.

“Because I’m going to make sweet love to you with no cameras around and in a proper bed instead of on the front seat of an SUV.”

I can immediately sense her inner turmoil. She feels like she’s cheating on Eoin, I know she does, but she isn’t. With a feeble excuse about lack of compatibility, he walked away and left her standing in the middle of a park with nothing to hold on to but her grief.

I open the passenger door of the SUV, and she gets in. The atmosphere changes as we set off. I can’t help but smile.

“Are you nervous, darlin’?”

“No.” We both know she’s lying.

“Aroused then?” I wink at her.

“Why are you even asking that?”

“You’ve started fidgeting in your seat, so I was just curious.”

---