Page 237 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

I feel Irish approach even before I see him, our connection vibrant and strong.

Our gazes connect. His hair has grown, its inky blackness so long it’s falling into his eyes. My eyes drift over the snug-fitting black jeans. He’s wearing a leather jacket, just like Eoin did on that last day. They’re so similar on the outside, yet so very different underneath.

Do they realize how much I love them both? I fight back the sob of self-pity that’s threatening to escape.

“I’m sorry.” I motion my head toward the church as I stare at him. “I know how much it meant to you.”

“It’s only a building, darlin’.”

But it was way more than that. It was his building.

It was our building.

He stands in front of me and gently pushes my hair behind my ear before placing a kiss against the tattoo for him and Fin. Taking my hand, he leads me to the rear of the property, where there’s a rickety old bench that I’ve never noticed before. We both sit down.

“How have you been, Jaine?”

“Coping.” Just.

He pauses briefly. “Eoin had his reasons for doing what he did.”

“I know.” Were they reasons or excuses? Neither makes the hurt any less.

“He’ll still be traveling back and forth for our Reservoir Dogs-style meetings, as you used to call them.”

I chuckle sadly. “I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. Out of sight and mind might make things easier.” Although I’m almost certain Eoin will make sure we never attend the same one.

“Jaine.”

“It’s fine, Irish.” I smile sadly at him. “I know I need to get over it. Get over him. That life moves on because it has to.”

I wouldn’t have a life if it weren’t for Eoin.

“Am I enough, darlin’?” The words are quietly spoken.

I frown at him. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not Eoin. I will never be Eoin. The future Da Duster is a pretty tough act to follow.”

Does he feel insecure? I’ve been so busy wallowing in my own grief that I never stopped to consider how my outward display would affect him.

“How can you follow when you came first?”

“The original and the best. Is that what you’re trying to say?” He forces a weak smile.

“Now you’re just being vain.” I snort.

He chuckles as he takes my hand in his.

“All joking aside, Jaine, I know you miss him. We all do. But he’s made his decision, and we all have to respect it. Who knows what the future holds? You and I both know things have a way of working themselves out in the end, if they’re meant to. An hour, a day, a week. Sometimes it even takes twelve years.”

Tears prick my eyes because he’s right. We sit in amicable silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts before he finally speaks again.

“You said something a while ago. You said, ‘What I think is that Fate meant for us to be on this very bench at this very time. I think this is all part of the great masterplan he had in store for us all along.’ Well, it may not be the same bench, but I reckon it’s still part of the same plan. What do you think?”

I turn to look into eyes of ice blue and nod.

“Because our souls have always been intertwined. You feel that too, darlin’?”

---