Page 207 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

She held that one thing back because she didn’t trust me with it. Because she thought it would make me even more possessive and even more protective.

She’s right. I know everything there is to know about her. In turn, I’ve been holding parts of myself back. I know precisely why.

Aside from wanting to allow her freedom of choice.

Guilt.

Over what I put Paddy through. Over what I put them both through. Sleep became a distant memory when remorse became my new bed partner. Night after night, I lay awake as my selfish wrongdoings slowly slide showed through my brain.

I had also convinced myself that our relationship was destined to be short-lived. That when my brother returned from Sicily, her forced affection for me would wane, her true love for him far outweighing any short-term feelings she’d ever held for me.

I was wrong.

She loves me still. Even though I’ve continually pushed her away, she’s stubbornly refused to let go.

She’s saved my life twice. I know now why she rejected my protection. As The Exterminator, she felt she didn’t need it.

She did.

Because in return, I’ve saved her life four times.

Maybe we both need protection. Maybe we need to compromise and find a balance that works for us. That’s if she chooses me, of course. Which I suspect she won’t.

While she may love me, she and Paddy are meant. I can’t compete with that, no matter how much I love her or how many dates I take her on.

Public Dining Room, Palace Hotel, Manhattan

I halt my conversation as Jaine enters the room. I’m seldom rendered speechless, but the sight of her MMA-honed body wrapped in a short cream silk dress has achieved just that.

She’s simply stunning.

My eyes drift over her slim shape. No doubt, the eyes of every male in the room are doing exactly the same thing. Jealousy sweeps through me.

She’s mine. Or at least, she was.

Confidence oozes out of her as she approaches. In this environment, she’s not the girl from Rising, California. Neither is she her sniper alter-ego. She’s Jaine Jones, the legal professional.

I’ve asked her here tonight because this is my domain. I have a business empire to run. In order to do that successfully, I build alliances, and I end them.

Many Duster deals are closed behind the four walls of this very establishment. As my wife, Jaine would be expected to interact with high rankers on both sides of the law. It’s something that would pose no problem for her as it’s something she already does, and exceptionally well.

There’s no one better equipped to stand by my side.

A lawyer and a serial killer. She’s the most perfect woman in the world for me.

Whether she wants to is a different matter, however. We’ll find out soon enough. Things are coming to a head. Now the immediate danger has passed, the current situation is no longer sustainable. All three of us cannot continue to live lives of limbo.

“Eoin.”

As is the perfunctory method of greeting in places such as this, she places her hands on my shoulders and air kisses me politely on both cheeks. The smell of wildflowers instantly envelops me. Paddy’s right. She smells of Rising.

I watch as she turns her attention to the person I was conversing with, a genuine smile crossing her face.

“Well, if it isn’t Detective Gabriel Prescott. It’s good to see you, Gabe.”

She greets him in the same fashion. I watch as his hands drop to almost indecent levels. My jealousy flares further. I make eye contact with Jaine, and she gives a subtle shake of her head.

As a female in an extremely male-dominated environment, I expect she has to deal with such borderline manhandling regularly. I also suspect she knows when to react and when to let it slide.

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