Page 206 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

“Out to dinner, then back to her place? I’m not sure going out to dinner is Jaine’s thing, though.”

“How do you know what her thing is?”

“I don’t.”

“That’s exactly my point. I would suggest, in the absence of knowing what herthingis, do yours. If you enjoy going out for a meal, then do that. It has to be a two-way street for it to work anyway. Who knows, maybe you’ll find things you both like doing or discover that you already have things in common. If you and Jaine do get married a second time, it will be for life. There won’t be any back-peddling allowed this time. You have to be completely sure that she’s your person and vice versa.”

“I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”

He raises an eyebrow. “That goes for outside the bedroom as well as inside. A marriage can’t be sustained on sex alone. It goes way beyond the physical. In fact, I know abstinence isn’t really your thing, but I suggest you keep sex off-limits for now. You two need to connect on a different level.”

“Like how Jaine and Paddy connect, you mean?”

“I never said that.”

“But you were thinking it.”

He shrugs. “Well, look at them. They love each other, yet they’ve probably only been intimate a handful of times, the last time over three years ago when Fin was conceived. Their connection is on an emotional level. Your connection with Jaine is on a physical level. It needs to be both.”

“What if we don’t share the same connection on an emotional level?”

“Then maybe she’s not the right girl for you.”

“Of course, she’s the right girl for me. I love her!” I hiss.

“Love isn’t enough, Eoin. Marriage is for life. It needs more than love and intimacy. It needs communication, honesty, understanding, selflessness, and the list goes on.”

“What if I’m too set in my ways and she hers?”

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

“Have you had this same conversation with Paddy?” He frowns. I may have just put him in an awkward position. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I understand you have a closer relationship with him.”

“You’ve fallen for the same woman as your brother. So, tell me, how will you explain all of this to him? That you’ve effectively stolen his life?”

I’m well aware that Dylan is just another part of the life I stole.

“That’s not true, Eoin, or at least not now. It’s just that you don’t tend to let people in, whereas Paddy’s a bit more of an open book.”

He’s right, of course. I’m notoriously private. I always have been. I look at him. He knows I’m still waiting for a response.

“Yes, I will be having a similar conversation with him, but only because I want to relay what Jessie said to Jaine. It’s only fair. I’m not taking sides. I wish everyone could come out of this a winner, but I know that’s not possible.”

I nod, then watch as he leaves the room.

Will Jaine be receptive if I ask her on a date? I’m not so sure she will be. Our relationship had already deteriorated to the point of being non-existent before we split up.

My thoughts drift to her and my brother. I know she and Paddy have kissed. The recent bruising on both their necks was clear evidence of this. There’s been no indication of them having gone beyond that. If they haven’t, I realize it’s out of respect for me, even though Jaine and I aren’t together.

We’re all single.

Not that I’ve been with anyone else. I won’t pretend otherwise. Not like I did with Candice.

My thoughts then drift to her recent reveal. Jaine is The Exterminator.

She was upset by my reaction, but then I was pissed that she never shared that part of herself with me, even though I had no right to be. It’s not like I shared all of myself with her.

“I thought you’d treat me differently. That you’d wrap me up in even more cotton wool because you’d see me as some sort of trophy.”

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