Page 193 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

“Apart from tomorrow. We suspect she’ll be in Rising.”

“How do you know?”

“It’s her pop’s birthday.”

“Then we’re flying out there today.”

Rising Cemetery, Rising, California

Eoin and I haven’t said much on the way here.

While we’re on speaking terms, I’m not sure our relationship will ever recover. He may have saved my life, but in our world, betrayal is typically met with a death sentence, no matter how much you repent. No number of rights will correct that sort of wrong.

He willingly went after the love of my life. The burden of guilt he carries is a testament to the fact that he knows what he did was wrong. I would never have done the same to him. Jaine was right. Having committed the greatest outlaw sin, he wouldn’t have pulled the trigger on me.

We flew into LAX yesterday, stayed overnight at an airport hotel, hired an SUV, and headed straight for Rising this morning while it was still dark. We can’t take the chance of missing Jaine.

I glance out the window, but it’s too dark to see anything vaguely familiar. I’ve only been to Rising twice. Once during the Bratva ordeal and the second time when Jaine buried her pop.

Dawn is finally starting to break when I recognize the grey stone pillars in the distance. I’m hit by a melancholy moment when I think of Ace, who’s also now buried here.

He was a good man—trustworthy and kind. The latter is an adjective not used to describe many in our world. He had a good heart. A big heart. And little JJ is shaping up to be just like him. I’m glad Jaine was given him as a blessing. A part of Ace that she got to keep.

A part that she will protect no matter what hence why she’s been on the run for a week.

I glance at Eoin as he slows down the vehicle to take the turn. JJ thinks of him as his da. The little lad cries when Eoin’s not there to put him in the bath or cuddle him when upset. How can I take that away from him when he’s already lost one da?

Tears prick my eyes. As much as we both love the same woman, there’s way more to it than just the emotion itself. Whatever decision Jaine makes will impact so many lives.

If she doesn’t choose me, then I will forever remain alone because there is no one for me but her. I’ll pine from afar as I have these past twelve years. I’ll just carry on existing. I’ve already provided my parents with a grandson. I’ve done my Duster duty. Nothing more is expected of me now.

As the future Da Duster, Eoin won’t be able to remain alone. Every da needs his ma.

He’ll have no choice but to take a second wife. He’ll also have to produce heirs. If Jaine doesn’t pick him, he’ll have to marry someone he doesn’t love, just like I had to marry Sophia.

How can I expect him to do something that, in the end, I refused to accept for myself?

He won’t argue like I did. He’ll accept his lot because it’s what’s expected of him. It’s just part of the role he was born into. A box on an endless list he needs to checkmark before he’s awarded the grand title of Da Duster.

“Take this little road here, and then we’ll park up.” I point it out. “The plot itself is the one farthest from the entrance.”

He nods silently and does as I’ve asked. We then pull up and wait. We’ll hear her before we see her, I’m sure.

CHAPTERSIXTY-FIVE

JAINE

Rising Cemetery, Rising, California

Night is releasingits hold on the sky, allowing day’s vibrant shades of red and orange to finally streak through. I take in the overhanging black wrought ironwork twisted to sayRising Cemeteryas I guide Ace’s hog through the now all-too-familiar entrance.

It’s Pop’s birthday. He would have been sixty-two years old. I miss him. I miss Ace. But given that I’m currently on the run, I’m missing a lot of people.

My babies.

A week feels like a year. Children change daily at their ages. I’m missing out on so much.Stop being selfish, Jaine. Look at everything Irish missed out on. Look at everything Ace is missing out on.

I notice the parked-up SUV on my way down to the plot. My gut is telling me it’s safe. I want Luciano Ruocco to find me. Just not today.

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