Page 194 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

Maybe it’s someone else who’s visiting their deceased loved ones before they have to hightail it out of dodge, leaving a trail of biker breadcrumbs for a Sicilian vulture in their wake. Maybe they’re unable to spend any time with their living loved ones either.

Why am I running? I can’t stay at the O’Connell house and bring trouble to their doorstep. Not with my kids living there. I’m the target. Even more so now. I hope Luc finds me soon because I won’t rest until he’s dead.

I promised Nate he could have first dibs, but the legal system failed me. He got out. And like an injured animal, he’ll be even more unpredictable now. He’ll also know that I got out too. That I was dug out of the suffocating hole in the ground he buried me in to die. He’ll know now who exposed him. And given that she’s vanished off the face of the earth, he’ll suspect I’m also responsible for the demise of his baby sister.

I’m not. Her loving husband delivered her comeuppance.

I pull up the hog and dismount. I spoke to Father Reynolds in advance. The flowers I requested have already been placed on Pop’s grave.

I pull the hand-written letter from my jacket pocket and lean it against the headstone. It doesn’t contain anything other than a few heartfelt words telling him how much I love and miss him and how sorry I am for leaving him behind when I ran for ten years.

He may not have been my biological daddy, but he was there for me after my momma died and raised me as if I were his own.

He brought me here. To Rising. To Jason Steele. Tears prick my eyes as I turn to Ace’s grave—my best friend. I love him. I will always love him.

And then I sit cross-legged on the ground. I tell them about Fin and JJ. I laugh. I cry. Then I reminisce while taking in the uninterrupted views over Rising.

I try not to feel sorry for myself as today’s not about me, but it’s hard not to. Two loved ones are in the cold, unforgiving ground, and the others are thousands of miles away. Loved ones I may or may not ever see again.

I’m not sure how long passes. When you have nowhere to go and nowhere to be, does time really matter?

I’m just saying my goodbyes and standing to leave when I sense them approaching from behind. I know who it is. I canfeelthem. I realize then that I do share a connection with both. It’s just that with Irish, it was always embraced. With Eoin, it was always rejected.

By me? By him? By both of us?

If I’d allowed Irish to end Eoin’s life, I know he would also have ended his own because he’d never have gotten over it. No matter how often he washed his hands, the stain of his brother’s blood would have always been visible.

The three men I love are in the same place for the first time.

“What are you doing here?” I don’t turn around. My tone isn’t welcoming because they shouldn’t be here. I’m on the run to keep everyone safe, including them.

Do they not remember what happened when I thought they’d perished last time around? I lost the will to live.

“We needed to see you, Jaine. To make sure…” Eoin doesn’t know what to say. I turn around slowly to take them in. Irish was baying for his blood the last time I saw them together.

I look at the eldest Duster. He looks tired, defeated almost. My eyes trail up his exposed arms in his fitted white t-shirt. I’m not sure if arms can ever be defined as good-looking, but Eoin’s are.

My gaze then drifts to connect with eyes of sparkling blue—my Irish. I’m about to speak, but he gets in there first.

“We were just passing by. We thought maybe you could offer to show us around your hometown, darlin’.” He shoots me his winning smile.

“No one ever just passes by Rising, Irish.”

He shrugs. “We got a bit lost and ended up here. Eoin’s rubbish at map reading, you see. That’s why he has to rely on Dec taking him everywhere.”

Eoin draws him a glare. I can’t stop my lips from curving upward.

Irish pounces on my reaction, his smile widening further. “What do you say, Jaine? We can tell you what’s been happening back home as you show us around.”

I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s too dangerous, but I’ve missed them. I nod reluctantly. “Only if you agree to leave town before sundown.”

“Agreed.” I stare at Eoin, looking for any signs that he’s lying to me. He’s not.

“I’ll need to drop the hog off at the house. I can’t leave it here in case it’s seen. If anything happens….” I feel myself tearing up at the thought of Ace’s beloved ride being crushed.

“Then let’s take it to the house.”

I nod once more.

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