Page 3 of Forever Mine

No, this is the way I need to do it. He may read it tonight or not until tomorrow, but I know I need to get it out. I type the words, taking a breath between each one.I want a divorce.

I stare at the black letters and try to imagine my life without Beau. It’s not any kind of life I want, but I need to do this.

I hit send and wait for relief, grief, or whatever it is to hit me. For just a minute, I panic. My heart races, I feel heat rush through my body, and I second-guess myself, but just as quickly, the feeling disappears, and in its place comes acceptance. I had to do this. I had to. Deep down, I know that I won’t be truly happy going on the way we are.

I lay the phone in my lap and lean my head back. Instead of looking up at the stars, I close my eyes and try to think about what I need to do next. And maybe there’s just a small part of me that hopes my husband is going to fight for me… for us.

Chapter3

Beau

My phone buzzes, and instead of looking at it, I take my glasses off and rub my eyes. I worked all day at the office, came home and had dinner with Nat, and then excused myself to my office at the house. I’m caught up with the day, but there’s always something that I need to read or stay on top of. Maybe Nat and I could watch a television show tonight. We haven’t done that in a while.

My phone dings again with the two-minute reminder that I had a text.

I let out a sigh, put my glasses back on, grab my phone, and see there’s a text from Natalie. I smile instantly, because this is how she gets my attention sometimes. Maybe she wants to watch a movie too. Heck, maybe she wants a replay from this morning.

I open the message, and my whole world shifts. I stand up but instantly get a little woozy. With my hands on the desk in front of me, I lean over, and my eyes never leave the four words that Natalie sent me.I want a divorce.

I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew two years ago when she agreed to marry me that it wouldn’t be forever. I knew she would eventually leave me. I had hoped she wouldn’t and that maybe she’d come to love me, but that’s not the case.

I try to get my bearings. I want to be mad and throw things, but that’s not who I am. I’m the Blaze brother that is always in control. Well, normally anyway, not counting a few nights ago when I got drunk as hell and Ford and Huddy had to bring my ass home. Shit. I run my hands through my hair and try to pull myself together. I knew this was coming. The signs were all there. We normally spend the evenings together, but she’s been more distant than usual.

Fuck, I guess I need to face the music.

I leave my phone on the desk and walk through the house. First stop is the living room. It’s immaculate, not one thing out of place. It almost looks sterile with the white walls, carpet, and show pieces. I make my way to the kitchen, and it’s empty too. I think about earlier when Nat and I worked side by side to clean up the dirty dishes from dinner. There was no big indication that the night would end with her asking for a divorce.

I make my way back to the middle of the house about to go upstairs, and that’s when I notice the screen door leading outside is halfway open. There’s a knot in the pit of my stomach as I make my way toward the door. Peeking out the window, I see her sitting in her favorite lounge chair with her head tilted back and her eyes closed. I stay here for just a minute, taking her in. She’s beautiful. Her blond hair is spread out like a halo under her head. Without even seeing them, I can picture her blue eyes that sparkle every time she looks at me. My eyes travel down the length of her body, and instantly I’m hard. Since the day I first laid eyes on her, I’ve had this reaction. She’s curvy, and her body is what dreams are made of. So many times I’ve had to hold back and not let her see how completely consumed I am by her. Every thought I have about her has my blood racing south. What am I going to do without her? How can I let her just leave me?

I know I can’t stand here all night, just stalking her.

I slide the door open the rest of the way and step through. I know the instant she knows I’ve joined her because her body tenses. I move to sit in the lounge chair next to her. With my feet on the ground between us, I lean forward, resting my arms on my legs. To her, I probably appear calm when in fact I’m anything but. I know my life is about to be turned upside down, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

“Are we going to talk about this?”

My voice is calm, clear, and in control. None of the things I’m feeling.

She turns her head to look at me. Even in the low light, I can see the sadness on her face. “Are you even surprised, Beau?”

The way she says my name has an effect on me. Ever since the first time she said it, her voice dips in a breathy, catch your breath tone. Even now when we’re talking about divorce, it does the same.

I clench my hands together. “No, I guess I can’t say I am surprised. What do you want?”

She laughs and shakes her head, but the reaction doesn’t match the sadness in her voice. “I should have known that you would react this way. Everything, all this, is a business transaction to you.” She takes a deep breath and pulls her shoulders back. “Right, well, I would like to keep my gym. That’s it. That’s all I want.”

I run my fingers along the stubble on my chin. There’s no way that’s all she wants. “First of all, the gym is yours. When I purchased it, it was put into your name immediately. There’s no question about that. Second, there has to be something else you want. The house, the car, the money.”

She sits up and swings her legs over the other side of the chair and stands up, then turns to face me. She locks her hands together in front of her. “If I can use the car for a while, that would be great. At least until I can get something else. But no, I don’t want the money or the house. I don’t want any of it.”

“Damn, Nat, the car is yours. And we’ll figure out some kind of alimony.”

She reaches up and wipes a tear from under her eye. In all this time, I’ve never seen Nat cry, and I’m not sure what to make of it. She crosses her arms over her chest. “I don’t want your money, Beau.”

Speechless, I stare up at her. “You don’t want my money? Do you know how insane that sounds, Nat? You’re married to a millionaire. We’ve been married for two years. You have rights to a portion—”

She cuts me off. “My gym and maybe my car, that’s it. I don’t want anything else.”

I can’t stop the surprise on my face. I don’t understand this, and I don’t know what to say. I knew the time would come when she’d leave me, but I thought for sure she’d at least want something. But as soon as the thought comes, I want to kick myself. I don’t know why I’m so confused. The truth is, over the last two years, I’ve had to force gifts on her. She hasn’t wanted any of it. Hell, she never asked for anything. She lets her arms fall to her sides and pulls her shoulders back. “Okay, well, I’m going to go pack.”

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