Page 65 of Running on Empty

Whatever drug fuelled hoodoo the dads had tried to work on us, it hadn’t changed anything for me. I was glad Stevie was starting to accept Jax. More than glad. But the moment she fell into his arms… I frowned and then went to turn around and face the computer.

Except my brother’s claws dug into the chair as he forced me to stay right where I was. I let out a sigh.

God, I felt tired. Was that supposed to be a side effect of this whole thing? Not just because I’d barely slept the night before we executed Snake, playing a million scenarios over in my mind, trying to identify the ones that might get Stevie hurt and having a contingency plan for each one of them. Running around in the scrub like children didn’t help either, but I felt like I had a hangover from the whole damn thing before I had any fun.

“What do you fucking want from me, Ronan?”

“I want you to get in there.”

“In where?” I said, but as soon as I did, I realised. My brother pointed to the hallway and down it? My brother and our mate were curled up—

“I can’t.” My voice was crisp and clear, the command obvious. “I need to get started—”

“You need to see to our mate.”

My eyes jerked up and I wasn’t surprised to see Ronan’s were bright green. They often were around Stevie, but there was something else.Hewas here. The way his whole body shifted as he breathed, the raspy, deeper tone of his voice. It felt like someone was running an ice cold knife down my spine.

“Ronan.” I said his name to bring him back, my brother. He was the one I needed. “Ronan, you—”

“Don’t try and bargain with him.” When I watched the smile spread across my brother’s face, one I’d never seen him make on his own, my hands clamped down on the arms of my chair, my muscles tightening. “You’re dealing with me now. Get in there. Get in the fucking nest or—”

“Or what, brother?” Remind him of your bond with him, my mother had always said.

“Or you’re an even bigger coward than I thought.” Ronan blinked, nothim, his brows creasing as if he was slightly confused about being here, but he recovered quickly. “You’re telling yourself some bullshit about Stevie not needing you.”

“She doesn’t.” Fuck that hurt so good to say that. It felt like ripping off a bandage, both painful and healing at the same time. “She doesn’t. She has you to slay her enemies for her and Jax to kiss it all better. What’s my role?” I glanced back at the screens. “It’s here, protecting her the best I can and—”

My speech was cut off by a hand clamping down on my shirt collar and then using it to haul me upright. The wolf inside me, the man both tried to fight Ronan’s grip, but when he was like this he outmatched all of us, able to take on all comers without raising a sweat.

“For fuck’s sake, Ronan, I need…”

Any and all protests fell away when we reached the nest door. It was open, the light soft and hazy, but I could still see the two of them, clear as a bell. Stevie looked tiny nestled into my brother and Jax’s focus was entirely on her, watching her breaths come slow and regularly as she slept. He loved her. I knew that academically. We all did, but… Watching him then, there was no doubt in my mind that my brother loved our omega with every fibre of his being and right now, he was experiencing some kind of almost sacred experience watching her sleep.

One I hadn’t earned the right to witness.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered harshly at Ronan. “I’m not the one she needs.” My brother just stared at me, implacable as any predator. “I’m the one who hurt her. I can’t go blundering into her safe place without her permission.” Ronan’s grip tightened. “I…” It felt like my brother was waiting for it, the eye of the storm that raged inside me. “I’m not worthy of her.”

“Good to see we’re of the same mind in that regard,”hegrowled. But he let me go, shoving me forward, my feet stumbling on the soft carpet, whatever it was that animated my brother right now, it was like a sheepdog, herding me closer. I was forced over to the other side of the bed, my knees dropping down onto it at Ronan’s insistence and somehow that felt right.

I needed to prostrate myself, throw my body down at her feet and fucking beg for her forgiveness. I’d heard, felt every one of her sobs as she cried into my brother’s chest like knives stabbed into my heart and I knew I was responsible for every single one of them. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, my gran always liked to say, and never had I understood that saying more than now.

“So stop hiding behind your plans and your intel and start being worthy of her. Stevie just shared with us how much pain she’s been in. The least we can do is fucking show up for her afterwards.”

I understood what this was now.Hewas always a cruel bastard, able to do things that made my guts turn, but I knew this. He never did anything without a reason, no matter how twisted the logic was, and right now he was punishing me, like he did everyone else who offended his strange sense of right and wrong.

So when I laid down on the bed, the soft mattress felt like it was made of nails and when I shuffled closer, I did so with dread. Because as I slowly, carefully fit my body into her other side, a sleeping Stevie rolled away from Jax and towards me.

Jax stared at me as I sucked in a breath and held it, my lungs starting to burn with the need for more oxygen but I didn’t dare breathe out. If I disturbed her, her eyes would flick open and I’d have a front row seat to her disgust when she saw who was holding her.

The man who’d kept her mates from her.

The man who let her suffer all alone like that.

The one who caused countless tears like the ones we’d just seen, no doubt sobbed silently, her pillow pressed into her face.

Just like I’d seen her do when she was a kid.

I’d vowed that no one would hurt her when we were grown, living uneasily with the vision of the future Mum used to give us. She seemed so authoritative, knowing exactly what Stevie needed.

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