Page 77 of Giovanna

“What are you afraid of, Dad? The worst has already happened!” I continue in righteous fury. “And what I was wearing didn’t save me.”

Embarrassment slips past my shield of fury and leaves my cheeks scorching and my stomach swirling. Airing my dirty laundry isn’t cathartic. It hurts me just as much as it inflicts blows on my intended targets.

“What is David doing here? Have I not made myself clear?” Giovanna growls looking around the room before settling her searing gaze on Dad and Sandy.

Dad sniffs. “He is my brother,” he states as if that is explanation enough.

“And I am your daughter,” I whisper, annoyed that he can still hurt me with his lack of paternal affection. Am I so insignificant? So disposable?

“Isn’t it about time we left the past in the past?” David lurks on the periphery of the large entertaining space. His eyes gleam hungrily at our gathering. Pathetic attempts to reinsert himself into theFamigliamake him look creepier, needier.

“Out,” Giovanna commands, breaking the silence. She steps forward and addresses the room. “Heis not welcome in this house. Ever. Now fuck off, David.”

He turns on his heel after ascertaining that his brother isn’t going to step in. He scampers off and I wish he’d take my Dad with him.

“Well, this has been fun!” Elio breaks the tension. “Francesca, you look beautiful. What would you like to drink?” This time the small smile I give him is genuine. He’s an arsehole, but unlike my father, he has some redeeming features.

The room quickly splits in half by generation. My mother coddles her husband, soothing his bruised ego while Peta gives Sandy grief, about what I’m not sure. In the meantime, Elio has thrust a glass of rose into my hand and his siblings gather around to comfort me.

Despite my intentions to hold Giovanna’s attention tonight, I am the one avoiding her eye contact. She stood up for me and while I’m grateful, the whole incident was rather humiliating. The mere knowledge that she knows I’m broken makes me nauseous.

Therapy has taught me to challenge my self-destructive thinking, but no matter what I do to resist it, I can’t help but feel dirty, used, broken, and defective when I think about what happened to me. I don’t want Giovanna to see those cracks. I don’t want her to be exposed to the ugliest parts of me.

On top of my self-loathing and even though I have no right to be angry that she has brought a date - I’m here with her brother after all - a green-eyed monster beats on my chest. Rationality tends not to be found around feelings as strong as those that I have for Giovanna.

Bex has a vice-like grip on Giovanna’s arm. Even though she’s wise enough not to be openly hostile to me, I can feel her dislike radiating in my direction. That she heard my darkest secret makes me want to scream.

Her own green-eyed monster is plainly causing her trouble too. She saw us last week. She saw our chemistry and how Giovanna shrugged her off to talk to me. She watched us dance and saw the touches, the smiles, our closeness.

I return her dislike with pure, cold indifference.

Her pitch-black hair is pulled into a tight ballet bun on the top of her head. She’s sorted out her regrowth since last week, I notice snarkily. Bex is naturally pretty and her makeup draws attention to her striking blue eyes. Curvier than me, she fills out her black halter-neck bodycon dress well. She’s attractive, no doubt about it, and I totally hold it against her.

“Who do you want to punch more right now - your Dad or Bex?” Massimo murmurs into my ear, pulling away to grin and wink.

‘Both’, I mouth to him and he sniggers. ‘Fuck my life’, I mouth again. He gives me a sympathetic grimace.

“You’re way hotter than her, babe” he whispers just as Matty appears behind us.

“Hotter than who?” He asks and I cringe.

Neither Massimo nor I say anything, but Massi’s eyes slide over to land on Bex. Matty frowns and his sister looks up just as he is assessing the situation and her gaze automatically snaps to me, a morose look on her face. He turns to me, head tilted.

“I told her to have some fuckin’ self-control,” Matty mutters to himself.

“Nothing has happened, Matty. I’m just doing the puppy dog thing,” I sigh.

He shakes his head and places his face in his hands. “This is some Home and Away shit. Am I the only one without drama in this family?”

“Hey!” protests Massi. “I know you’ve been a bloody boy scout since you got out of lock up, but I’m not a drama llama either!”

But when Matty raises his eyebrows and gives him a look loaded with meaning, he concedes, “Fine.” Hmmm. I’ll file that away as something to ask Massi about later.

I’m successful in avoiding Giovanna and Bex for the entire pre-drinks and drag Elio into a car with Massi and Matty leaving them to travel alone to the wedding. They sit directly in front of us in the church and I’m treated to a closeup experience of Bex’s flirtation while we wait for the bride to arrive. It is uniquely infuriating and I spend the time daydreaming about dragging her out of the church by her hair.

Sarah is a beautiful bride in her white sleeveless gown. I don’t know her very well, but she is cousins with the Marinos so I’ve seen her around. She managesLa Fazendafor her mum these days. Even without the personal connection, when she catches the eye of her awaiting husband, the look of pure adoration on her face has me tearing up. I turn to look at Tiny, standing at the altar, and see the same expression on his face. I wipe a stray tear from my cheek and notice that Giovanna, in the row in front, isn’t watching the bride, she’s fixated on me.

Quickly averting my eyes, I focus on the huge guy dwarfing the priest at the altar. Just like his dad is ironically Fat Tony, Tiny is the opposite of what his name conveys. He is about 6’6 and built like a brick shithouse. Come to think of it, I can’t think of what Tiny’s real name is off the top of my head.

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