Page 37 of The Dark Elf's Secret Twins

Which is why I let him back into my life so easily. A decision I can’t say I regret.

Fifteen.

As unexpected as it was, Lykan’s return fifteen days ago has stirred up feelings in me I thought I crushed seven months ago.

Seeing him in the same room as Colson, with his father’s dark eyes, and Kenji, with his father’s silvery hair, broke open a dam within me. I’d spent months trying to block out all my feelings for Lykan and in one night, he shattered it all to pieces.

I remember lying in bed next to the boys that night, needing the comfort only my sons could provide. Kenji was restless, curled into my chest, and I kept running my fingers through his hair.

“You know, your hair is coveted among the dark elves,” I whispered to him, feeling too sentimental to keep it all in. “Long and beautiful, a sign of strength.” I choked on my next words, but I needed to get them out. It was too cathartic to whisper my heartbreak to the two I knew would never hurt me like that. “Just like your father.”

Colson nuzzled into my other side, and I looked down at him. Beneath his lids, his eyes were moving, and I remember the day that I gave birth. The day that he came out, looking so much like me. Tan skin, brown hair, it was a relief almost to me.

And then the healer placed him in my arms and he looked up at me with dark gray, almost black eyes that hit me like a sucker punch. Thankfully, my face was so coated in sweat that the tears were lost in it.

“You have your father’s eyes,” I told Colson, something that always echoed in the back of my mind but I never would say out loud. But after staring into them again that night, I couldn’t hold it back. “You’ve always reminded me so much of him. Stubborn and fierce and loyal, to a fault.”

Maybe it was a mistake but that night, fifteen days ago, I could feel every wall around my heart crumbling. And, as if I wasn’t already playing dangerous enough games with my heart, he had to go and make it worse.

Twelve.

Twelve days ago he moved the three of us in with him. Was it the best idea? For my boys? I think so. For my heart? I’m less sure.

Each day with Lykan makes me more and more uncertain. I know that I can’t deny the feelings I have for him. Between the heartbreak of his rejection and the absolute gut punch it was to see him again, I know that he isn’t as meaningless to me as I try to pretend it is.

But I don’t know if he feels as little for me as he claims.

“Good morning,” he’ll tell me in the mornings, his voice rough and husky. It’s sexier than I could have imagined, never having the luxury of seeing him in the early morning before. He’s still more put together than I am with my hair thrown up haphazardly and my pajamas rumpled, but I like seeing Lykan like this.

“Good morning.” I can’t help but let my eyes trail over him, a smile always coming to my face.

Sometimes, I swear a smile breaks free too. I don’t really understand it, and the few times I think I see it, he quickly changes the subject.

He has stepped into the role of being a father well, though. Which is why he meets me in the hall so we can get the boys up and have breakfast together. It’s one of the few times that our schedules overlap, and for a few minutes, we feel like a real family.

Especially when I watch him sweep Kenji or Colson out of their beds and a real smile takes place on his face. “Good morning, my little warriors!” he always tells them, and I think it warms my heart more than it should. “Did you dream of slaying the biggest orcs?” He’ll throw them in the air and plant kisses on their cheeks as he talks to them, pretending he can understand their babble.

And he stays just as excited through breakfast, helping the boys eat and talking to them. There’s no doubt in my mind he’s absolutely enamored with them, and I am glad to see that he is going to be a great father. A part of me always believed he would be, but after his initial disdain toward my pregnancy, I had my doubts.

Sometimes as we get them dressed before we part ways, that happiness extends to me. He’ll tease me, not unlike the way he used to but there’s no malice behind it. It’s softer. Playful. And I’ll laugh with him as we hold our boys and get ready for the day.

It’s perfect. Just for a little while.

And I fear that I am getting too swept up in something that’s not real.

But it’s only been twelve days. And with each passing day, I wonder what will await me. If two years can make such a difference, if seven months can be such a whirlwind, then what do these next weeks hold for me?

And am I ready for it?

19

LYKAN

Iawake gently from the night’s slumber, slowly batting my eyes open and letting out a loud, drawn out yawn. Immediately, I feel the heat of the morning sun, its long and yellow rays shining in through my bedroom window. My body is too warm, legs sweating underneath the thick covers of the blanket.

Throwing it off, I quickly rise to my feet. I amble over to the window and open it, thankful for the morning breeze light as a feather. Extending my arms out, I loosen up and stretch out my body, stiff from a deep sleep. I look at the clock hanging above my door .

“Cyra and the children ought to be waking up around this time. I’d best get ready for the day.”

---