Page 37 of Tanner's Forever

When we finish eating, I chug the rest of my margarita and scoot closer to him on the couch. “I feel like you’re my therapist or something,” I tell him. “I never open up to anyone.”

“I’m always happy to listen, beautiful, but I’m fairly positive that it would be illegal for me to be your therapist and do the dirty things I’m about to do to you.”

I lean in to kiss him. “Quit talking and show me.”

Chapter Thirteen

Erin

“Youknow,I’mgettingpretty used to you being in here with me,” I say, gesturing to the bathtub we are sitting in once again. “It’s not going to be quite the same being in here by myself.”

“How do you think I feel? I’m not going to see a beautiful naked woman sitting across from me, all soapy and wet.”

“Oh, I’m sure you could easily find someone to take my place,” I reply, a bit snarkier than I intend to.

His fingertips lightly rub along my knee that sticks out of the water. “Oh, beautiful, I don’t think you’re going to be nearly that easy to get over.”

“It’s only been a couple of days,” I argue. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

He smiles at me. “Erin, I’m not saying I’m going to sit in the corner and cry about the girl who got away. But I don’t think you give yourself enough credit for how fucking awesome you are.”

I don’t want to disagree with him, but I don’t think there’s anything overly special about me. I’m not trying to sell myself short, either. I think I’m a good person with a big heart, but I don’t think I have a lot that will make men fall in love with me. Putting ‘mom of three kids’ on a dating profile isn’t exactly a siren call to eligible men.

“What are you thinking about, beautiful?” Tanner asks.

“Just thinking about how life has a funny way of surprising you.”

“What do you mean?”

“A couple years ago, I was married. My life looked totally different. I was constantly stressed and on edge, but every single day, I told myself that it would pass and that things would get better. Fast forward, and I get divorced. After the initial devastation wore off, I felt utter relief. And terror. Let’s not forget terror. And now, I’m here with this gorgeous twenty-five-year-old man who is taking a bath with me. A couple years ago, if you would have told me that I’d be here right now, I would have thought you were crazy. It just makes me wonder what other surprises life has in store for me. Makes me wonder where my life is going from here.”

“Where do youwantit to go?” He asks.

I sit quietly for a moment because honestly, I don’t know that I’ve thought about an answer to that question.

“Erin, you good?”

“Yeah, I just haven’t really thought about it, I guess. Lately, I’ve been so busy just trying to get through one day at a time that I just focus on the now rather than worrying about the future.”

“I feel that. What has been your dream? Like if you could do anything you wanted, what would it be?”

“Hmm.” I tap my finger on the side of the tub. “I’m not sure. I mean, I don’t mind my job. I love the people I work with, and the pay gets us by.”

“Alright, what about outside of work? Anywhere you want to travel? Anything crazy you want to do?”

“That’s a different story. I’d love to travel anywhere and everywhere. One regret that I think I’ll always have is that I don’t always have the money to take my kids to do all the fun things. It’s hard to make memories on a single income. Even going to the zoo these days costs an arm and a leg.”

“I can only imagine. It’s just me, and for a while, it was hard to make ends meet.” After a long pause he asks, “Have you ever thought about trying to sing professionally? You’ve got quite the set of pipes on you.”

Just the thought of that makes my stomach twist into a knot. “Uhm no. Nope. No way. Definitely not.”

Sarcastically, he asks, “So, that’s a no?”

“The ONLY reason I was able to do karaoke was because I was drunk. Without alcohol, there’s no way I could do. I have stage fright way too bad.”

“You seemed right at home up there.”

“Tequila is a wonderful liquid, my friend.”

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