Page 41 of Room 13: Bred By the Bears

“We’re definitely going to have a schedule of who gets to sleep where,” Armel grumbled. “I won’t be the odd man out every night.”

“We’re both odd men out right now, she’s sleeping with Ryker.”

“Yes, but it’s a double king, and there’s nowhere else in the room to sleep. So we’ll all be in the bed together. Not all three of us will get to cuddle her, right? So, a schedule is the only way to be fair.”

“We are going to meet Miele where she is,” Ryker told the other men. “However she wants us, that’s what we’re going to be. So she can see that she can trust us. Depend on us. Know that whenever she is ready to leap, we’re here to catch her. We’re taking her on her terms. However that presents itself and whatever span of time it takes for it to happen. Because we’re falling in love with you Miele. And whether or not you want to accept that fact, we’ll be here waiting for you when you’re ready to fall with us.”

twenty-seven

I knewit was me that fucked up. With that talk about hoping her birth control failed. I spooked her. Ryker made his disappointment with me loud and clear. That, and he was really pissed I claimed Miele’s star. But given all the rest that happened, there wasn’t really time for him to lay into me for that.

“I just wish there was something we can do to show her.” Ryker was lost in his own thoughts on the drive back to Boseman to catch our fight home.

The rest of the week we spent with Miele was exactly as one would expect a group of people who met at Club Sin to be. There was plenty of kinky exploration, but not an ounce of tenderness. Miele kept us at an arm’s length, choosing to continue to stay with Casey and his family instead of joining us in the cabin. And sleeping in a single bed –even if it’s a double king—without having a warm body to snuggle up with, was not how I’d imagined our vacation to go.

“She just needs time.” Casey broke us out of our musings. “She’ll be back in two weeks anyway. We just need to finish drawing up all the plans for the Lodge. This time will be good for her to think about what she wants and how she can achieve that.

“Jason did a real number on her, and you three are the first serious men she’s been with since him. I expect a lot of this is because she’s spooked. Especially because you’re engaging in her fantasy fulfillment for a wish that will never come true.”

What the hell was he talking about?

“We’re all operating on varying levels of information,” Ryker told him. “I know about the infertility but have no idea who the fuck Jason is. The two of them, are in the dark over most of it. It was Miele’s story to tell, and I didn’t want to break her confidence.”

He told us the last bit, twisting to meet our confused gazes from where we sat in the back seat.

“I’m sorry brothers. When Miele came home, I was going to suggest dinner so she could give us all the entire story. Well, at least I hoped she’d be willing to give it to us.”

“Jason is her ex-husband.” Casey continued, “They’d tried for years to have babies. Spent so much money betting on hope that never came to fruition. He’s also the reason she doesn’t paint anymore. Somehow the two are tied together. The pain of her infertility she funneled into her art, and he hated her for it. Eventually he asked for a divorce but not before taking a sledgehammer to every good and kind part of Miele.”

I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t want to sound like a hot head that spouted off empty threats. Jason was the most common name in the world, so the chances of ever figuring out who he was were slim. But howdarehe.

“Do you have any of her art?” Obi asked.

“Jason threw them all over the balcony of their upper west side condo. What survived the fall to the ground, was covered in snow and dirt, street grime, tires from cars that had to stop and swerve to avoid them. Maybe Chantilly has some of her earlier pieces but not from the blue period. That’s what she jokingly calls it. Irony more than actual funny ha-ha. She says every artist has a blue period. It’s usually when they create their best work. But the world would never get to make that decision if she ever got famous because they were all gone.”

It was a good thing I didn’t know where this Jason fellow was orwhohe was, because if I ever found out, he’d be missing a few teeth when I finished with him.

twenty-eight

Even though itfelt strange to leave when our relationship with Miele suddenly felt weirdly fake, she had work to do, and we were just in the way. The last thing any of us wanted was to hinder her creative expression.

And since hearing about her ex, I’m glad we had. I wouldn’t ever want her to feel stifled or constricted, especially from us. Remembering back to the first time we’d seen her at the hotel, so confidently in her element, excitedly painting her vision for us, and spinning us into her web of creativity. That needed to always thrive within her. She and Ryker were the same in that vein. Art was their lifeblood.

That was also the reason we needed to leave. Ryker was hurting, which made him restless. None of us wanted to walk away from Miele when we were in such tumult in terms of where the four of us stood. However, Ryker needed art to get what he felt on the inside out of his system. Otherwise, it would fester.

The only place he could exorcise his emotional demons was at home. With his supplies, and his backyard, and the watering hole.

“We’ll be back.” I clapped Casey on the back, extending my thanks.

“Gideon went over all of the plans for expansion. It’s certainly an investment worth considering,” Armel took his bag from Casey, lining it up on the curb. “I’m sure we’ll be in touch. Both for a social call, and probably also for some business considerations.”

“You all are always welcome. Hopefully this storm with Miele will blow over. I’ll try to give her a nudge or two. But she needs to work this out on her own. Realize that her fear of upending her life again is what is holding her back from running toward something that appears to be the real deal.”

“Itisthe real deal.” Ryker growled, taking his suitcase and storming toward the entrance.

“He’s hurting too.” I smirked at Casey, nodding toward the very dramatic exit stage left.

“Well, with all you three experienced growing up, there’s some abandonment on each side of your complicated quad. Just know, we’ve all been there. Even Clover and my husbands. Gideon and his wife and husbands. Journey and her fiancé’s. I don’t really know the story with Rae and her two men but I’m sure they have a story of their own as well. Sometimes you have to crawl through shit before you reach the river.”

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