Page 45 of One Night in My Rival's Bed

I aimed my gaze at his bowtie, not trusting myself to look into those mesmerising eyes. But I was acutely aware of how close our pelvises were to each other. It seemed our bodies gravitated to each other of their own volition, like two magnets locking together.

‘You have to stop looking at me like that,’ I said, keeping my voice low so the other couples dancing around us wouldn’t hear.

‘How am I looking at you?’

‘Like you want to whisk me away and make love to me.’

‘But that’s exactly what I want to do.’

‘But you can’t, not now. We’re over.’ I injected my voice with as much determination as I could.

‘You really think you can turn off feelings just like that?’

I glanced up at him, my heart climbing up to my throat. ‘But we’re not talking about feelings, or at least you’re not. Our fling was never about feelings for you. It was about lust. And yes, that can be turned off if you’re strong enough.’ I only hoped I was strong enough, otherwise the next few months, or even years, were going to be hard to get through.

He frowned and looked into the distance again but his hold on me remained firm. ‘Why are you so sure you love me? What if you’re confusing it with lust?’

‘I know this is probably hard for you to understand because you won’t allow your feelings to get involved in your flings, but as soon as you kissed me I knew I was in danger of falling in love with you. But it wasn’t just about the physical chemistry. Your character spoke to me in a way no one else has before. You understood my struggles because you had experienced them yourself. I felt like you were seeing me, the real me, instead of the persona I’ve adopted over the years. I could be myself with you and I like to think you could be yourself with me.’

I don’t know how it happened, but we were no longer on the dance floor and had drifted out to a balcony festooned with flowers. There was no one else out there, so we were finally alone.

Grayson lowered his hands from my body and stepped back a step, his expression as inscrutable as the stone wall to our left. ‘It was never my intention to hurt you.’ His voice contained a chord of gravitas that made me realise this was painful for him too, for different reasons but painful regardless. I knew it wasn’t in his nature to be cruel. Cynical, yes, but not cruel.

I painted on a brave smile. ‘I’ll get over it.’

He stepped closer again and gently stroked my cheek with a lazy finger, his eyes locking on mine. ‘Will you?’

‘Of course.’ I wasn’t as confident as I sounded. Inside, my heart was breaking like a fissure in a rock.

‘Am I allowed one last kiss?’ The rough burr of his voice sent a shiver down the length of my spine.

‘Do you think that’s wise?’ My voice was not much above a whisper and my pulse began to pound.

Grayson’s eyes moved back and forth between each of mine, and then his gaze lowered to my mouth for a pulse-tripping moment. He slowly brushed the pad of his thumb across my lower lip, and I trembled from head to foot.

His mouth twisted into a rueful line and his hand fell away to drop by his side. ‘You’re right. It’s not at all wise.’ And then he turned and walked away without another word.

CHAPTER TWELVE

THENEXTMONTHI spent catching up on work. I had a lot of clients on the go and a couple of big new projects that took up a great deal of time. But my work was no longer as satisfying as it had been. Or maybe it was because I had no work/life balance. I worked all day and came home to an empty house. I didn’t socialise because I didn’t have the energy or the motivation. I missed Niamh but I was happy she was enjoying her new life with Ethan.

And it goes without saying I missed Grayson.

I missed his touch, his rare smiles, his intelligent conversation—so many things that made him so attractive to me. I missed hearing the sound of his voice, I missed the smell of him on my skin, the taste of him in my mouth, the feel of his arms so protective and strong around me.

We hadn’t yet met up to continue working on Niamh and Ethan’s house. I had been too busy with other clients, and I heard via Ethan that Grayson was snowed under with work too. He also told me Grayson had flown to the US to check on a build that was part-way done. I tortured myself with imagining him hooking up with someone over there. No doubt he would go back to his playboy lifestyle and barely spare me a thought.

But a couple of days later I was helping Niamh shop for baby things, and she told me Ethan was worried about Grayson.

‘Why?’ I asked, picking up a lemon-coloured onesie.

‘He thinks Grayson’s not himself at all.’

I put the onesie down and picked up a tiny bonnet and mittens, trying to disguise my avid interest in Grayson’s state of mind. Trying too to disguise how envious I was of my sister shopping for babywear. Would I ever have the chance to do the same? I couldn’t imagine having anyone else’s child than Grayson’s. But he didn’t want the things I wanted.

He didn’t want me. Not for ever.

‘He’s grumpy and unsociable,’ Niamh said, handing me a bundle of clothes to hold. ‘He won’t come over for dinner and he won’t allow us to visit him. Even their mum is worried about him.’ She looked at me with her big blue eyes and asked, ‘Did you part as friends or as enemies?’

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