Page 44 of One Night in My Rival's Bed

His top lip gave the tiniest curl as if he couldn’t help himself, and his eyes glittered with his trademark cynicism. ‘You expect me to greet you with a chaste kiss on the cheek after you’ve come apart so many times in my arms? Just to give you the heads-up—that’s what I’ll be thinking every time I see you.’

I raised my chin a fraction, even as my traitorous body throbbed and throbbed with longing. ‘You’ll have dozens, if not hundreds, of lovers after me. I’m sure you’ll forget all about our time together.’

He grunted something unintelligible, his expression brooding. ‘Why end it today of all days? Why not wait until tomorrow?’

‘Because Ethan and Niamh’s wedding vows really spoke to me,’ I said. ‘Every word was so meaningful. The promises they made to each other are promises I want to make to the man I love. That man is you, Grayson, but you can’t love anyone because, deep down, you don’t like yourself. You’ve not forgiven yourself for letting Ethan drive that night. Until you can accept you are human, just like everyone else, and that making mistakes is part and parcel of the human condition, then I don’t think you will ever be truly content, much less happy. Part of the reason you work so hard is to fill in the empty spaces in your life. I’ve done it too, for so long I thought it was part of my true nature. But while I love my work, I can no longer be a slave to it and allow it to crowd out some of the most important things a human being can experience—connection, commitment, and lasting love.’

‘Thanks for the free psychotherapy session, but I’m quite content with my life as it is.’ His voice was cold and distant, his expression closed-off.

‘You might be now, but what about in a few years’ time? How long do you think you can move from casual lover to casual lover, never staying with them long enough to get to know them or for them to get to know you? How long is that going to be satisfying?’

Grayson moved away a short distance to rest his hands on top of the wooden fence that divided the churchyard from a park. He stared at the trees waving in the slight breeze, every muscle on his face taut with tension.

‘Okay, you’ve said your piece. I understand you want more, but I did warn you from the beginning there wasn’t going to be more.’

‘I know you did.’ I let out a wobbly breath and walked back to the other guests.

I was trying so hard to hold it together, trying so hard to be strong and dignified, but inside I wanted to shout, I wanted to scream, I wanted to beg him to love me. It was strange to be on the opposite side of a breakup. I was the one who had broken off my engagement to Ryan. Looking back now, I could have done things a little more graciously, allowed him some measure of dignity, but my protective instincts towards Niamh had taken over. I hadn’t been in love with Ryan, and I suspect he might not have been in love with me either.

But I was in love with Grayson. He was everything I could ever want in a life partner. He totally understood my commitment to my sister because he had the same commitment to his brother. He understood the guilt I carried because he had experienced the same. During our fling I had started to hope he was developing an attachment to me that was deeper and more enduring than his past casual encounters. That I was someone special.

Clearly, I was wrong.

I wasn’t anything special to Grayson Barlowe. I was just another lover, just another woman who had succumbed to his potent charm.

And now it was over.

I don’t know how I got through the rest of Niamh and Ethan’s wedding day. The reception seemed to drag on for hours...or maybe that was because I was doing my best to avoid Grayson. But escaping him was impossible because, as best man and the only bridesmaid, we each had roles to play.

One of those roles included stepping up on the dance floor to join the bride and groom in their first dance together. I stepped into Grayson’s embrace and tried to block my body’s reaction, but it was like trying to stop a wave from cresting. A rush of longing flowed through me, a deep and unsettling longing because I knew it could not be satiated. Not now. Not ever again. We had done many things together before, intimate things that were etched on my mind and my body, but we had never danced before. How bittersweet to realise we were so well matched in this way too. We moved together as if we had been dancing partners for years. It felt so natural and easy to glide with him across the floor. I breathed in his smell, committing it to memory, for I knew I might never have the chance to get this close to him again. In a way, our dance was a goodbye and that made it especially poignant.

Other couples had joined us and the dance floor was a little more crowded, so Grayson had to hold me closer to avoid any collisions. I was aware of the gentle press of his hand in the small of my back, aware of how close our hips were, aware of the grasp of his hand and how my hand was so small and dainty inside the firm cage of his.

‘Ash...’ There was a strange quality to his voice, a slight hitch in it that I had not heard before.

I looked up at him to find his gaze on me, a frown etched on his forehead.

‘Yes?’ I tried to remove the note of hope in my tone but I’m sure he could see it in my face. I’m a good actor, but notthatgood.

His eyes dipped to my mouth for a long moment and my heart skittered. ‘Is it going to be difficult for you to work with me on Ethan and Niamh’s house? If so, I can organise one of my staff to take over the project for me.’

I frowned. I had forgotten about the house we were supposed to be designing together. We hadn’t got far with it, mostly because of the wedding taking up so much of our time recently. How would it be working alongside him now we weren’t seeing each other any more? It would be torture, that’s what it would be. Plain and simple emotional and physical torture.

‘But they want us to do it. I’m sure we can both be grown-ups about this.’

One side of his mouth tilted in a half smile that didn’t reach his eyes. ‘You think I won’t be able to control myself around you?’

‘I’m sure you’ll be the ultimate professional at all times.’

He held my gaze for a heart-stopping moment before looking away into the distance. ‘We’d better reinstate the no-touching rule.’

‘Fine.’

‘And that probably should include earrings.’

In spite of my heartache, I laughed. ‘I’ll wear studs, so you won’t be tempted.’

He looked back at me again, his eyes dark and intense. ‘I only have to look at you to be tempted.’ His voice was rough around the edges and his hold on me momentarily tightened, sending waves of incendiary heat through my body.

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