Page 69 of All Bets are Off

“Yeah. But I also know this is going to be really difficult for you. She’s probably not going to understand.”

“It feels like the right thing to do, though.”

“Okay,” West agrees, taking my hand as we walk down the hall toward my mother’s apartment. Every time he does it, my heart melts a little because I know he’s pushing at his comfort zone.

The nurses at Garden Oasis keep my mother looking nice. Once a week, one of them takes her up to the fifth-floor hair salon to style her hair and do her nails. She’s always clean and dressed nicely, except when she dresses herself. But behind her eyes, the woman I knew is completely gone. As I look at her, I can’t help but be glad my father didn’t live to see her like this—it would break his heart.

“Hi, Mom.”

She doesn’t speak, but she doesn’t look annoyed, so that’s a win.

One side of her face is twitching.

I look at Donna questioningly.

“It’s called myoclonus. Muscle twitching. It’s part of CJD. I’m afraid it will only get worse. I know it’s hard to look at, but she isn’t in pain.” She pats my arm. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

I watch her walk out of the room before turning back to my mother. I lean down and buss her on the cheek, relieved when she doesn’t react negatively to the gesture.

“You look really nice today, Gloria,” West says, taking a seat on the couch. “How do you feel?”

I sit down beside him.

My mother’s face is twitching violently now. She doesn’t answer.

“Mom, West and I have something to tell you,” I say when the silence stretches out. “You know how long West and I have been friends, right?”

The right corner of her mouth jerks in rhythm with her eye and cheek. I settle my gaze on the other side of her face.

“Well, recently it’s turned into something…more. We, uh. We’re together now. We’re boyfriends. And we wanted to let you know that before we tell anyone else because you’re important to us.”

“Gloria?” West asks when my mom remains silent and still except for the twitching. “Do you understand what Logan’s telling you?”

Her gaze moves from me to him for a few seconds and then she turns her head to look at the television, which is tuned in on a game show. The fingers of her right hand begin to jerk. After a few minutes, it’s clear she’s done with us.

West takes my hand and squeezes it, eyes sad.

Even if my mother understands what we told her, she can’t articulate her feelings. She can’t yell at us or congratulate us. In her right mind, I like to think she’d be happy for us. She’s always loved West, and I’ve never known her to be homophobic. In fact, she volunteered at a local LGBTQ center for years in Atlanta. But I would give anything now to have her yell at me for being with a man if that’s what she truly wants to do. Anything but that blank stare or the disdain she often directs at me out of nowhere. The disturbing twitching is just one more reminder that she’s deteriorating quickly.

“We’ll have dinner with you one night this week,” I tell my mother. This time, when I bend to kiss her, she moves away.

We go into the kitchen and tell Donna goodbye. Before we leave, I glance into the living room. My mother hasn’t moved from the chair, but the jerking and twitching has settled a little.

Downstairs, as we walk to the entrance, I notice a young woman I’ve never seen before behind the desk and think of Anna. West recently confirmed with the manager that he fired her, and Dex told us she left Newburg and moved in with her father in Spring City, Colorado. I was a little surprised at the peace of mind her departure brought me. Not only because of my mother, but because of West. I don’t think I realized how jealous I was and how threatened I felt, even though West gave me no reason to feel that way.

On the ride home, I let the music from the car radio wash over me as I stare out the window.

West lets me be, not speaking until we pull up to the house.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Just a little overwhelmed.”

When we step into the foyer, we hear voices coming from the dining room.

“Hey, it sounds like a full house,” West says, grinning. “Let’s make our announcement.”

He takes my hand, and we enter the dining room. After a moment, the room falls quiet as our friends notice us.

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