Page 160 of Diamond Angel

I stare at Ilarion for a moment, taking in his sculpted features, the sad, downward tilt of his eyes, the strength of his jaw. He’s such a beautiful man. Agoodman. That’s what Celine believed. That’s what I chose to believe all these years, too.

But sometimes, choosing to believe something doesn’t make it true.

I think about my sister.

I think about my son.

But most of all, I think about my father.

I love you, Dad.

Then I take a deep breath. I pull the trigger hard and the bullet feels like it’s fired from my own soul.

I scream. Or at least, someone does. I jerk backwards, my shoulder in pain, but I don’t fall. Ilarion’s arms are around me, holding me up.

But Benedict Bellasio is on the floor, writhing in pain.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God…I shot him.” My eyes widen more. “And Imissed!” My breaths are coming in hard and heavy now. The adrenaline giving way to something this side of panic.

“It’s okay,tigrionok,” Ilarion says calmly. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“I can’t believe I missed!”

“You made your choice,” he whispers in my ear. “I’m proud of you.”

He guides me down to my knees and then he walks over to Benedict’s spasming body. I’m not sure where the bullet has pierced him, but it wasn’t in the head like I intended.

Ammonia and fear stenches the air. I’m pretty sure that Benedict Bellasio has pissed himself.

I glance up and take in Ilarion’s tall form. He’s standing over Benedict, looking down at him as though he’s a scrap of toilet paper on the sole of his shoe.

“Goodbye, Benny.”

He raises his hand. I see the sheen of black metal. I close my eyes. A second later, there’s another gunshot. A definitive one.

I know without looking that Benedict Bellasio is finally gone.

I don’t open my eyes until I feel Ilarion’s arms around me, until his breath is at my ear and his heart is beating alongside mine.

“How did you know I was telling the truth?” he asks me.

“I didn’t,” I say honestly. “I just chose to believe you.”

He presses a kiss to my temple. “I’m sorry. I had to do it, Taylor. I had to give him the death he wanted. But for what it’s worth, I am sorry he’s gone.”

I nod, dropping my head against his chest and letting the sobs rip through me. I accept that my father is gone. I accept that the love of my life killed him. And I choose to believe that those facts won’t destroy us.

I can only hope it will make us stronger. That is the choice I make in this moment. That is the choice I will continue to make.

Over and over again, if I have to.

I choosehim.

65

TAYLOR

The clock says noon, but I can hardly believe it after the day I’ve just had. It feels like this morning has stretched out into years.

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