Page 119 of The Lessons

I frowned at him.

He continued. “Renee’s husband would have lost everything if the lawyers had found out that he’d knocked Lisa up. So the two of them needed a scapegoat. They needed it to look like Lisa had been impregnated by someone else.”

I stopped a moment, trying to follow what he was saying. Once I caught up, I was even more pissed off. “And that someone else was you? I can’t believe you agreed to that! That is such an asshole thing to do. Why the hell would you do—?”

He held up his hand to cut me off. “I am getting to that.” He took another deep breath. “I had to, Natalie. I didn’t have a choice. Lisa was threatening to get me kicked out of school and SFCS.”

I was silent for a beat as I tried to process what he was telling me. “I don’t get it. Why would she be able to get you kicked out of school?”

“Her father runs the department.”

I paused. Oh. Damn. That was something I hadn’t been aware of. And I knew how hard Ryan had worked at his degree…but still. “It was a horrible thing to do to Renee. I still don’t understand why you’d do that. I mean, it’s not like Dr. Lerner had something on you; you’re a fucking boy scout, remember?”

He looked down at the floor. “I’m not a boy scout.”

“You sure? You were valedictorian.”

His eyes twitched up to mine. “You went?”

“Of course I fucking went. But seriously, what could be so bad that you think you’d get kicked out of school? Did you cheat on a test or something?”

Silence.

From both of us.

So much silence.

Eons and eons of silence.

He’d broken eye contact and was back staring at the fascinating water stain on the ceiling.

“Dr. Lerner, she— The reason I had to— She found out, Natalie,” he sputtered as he reached up and scratched the back of his head.

I furrowed my brow. “Found out what?”

He exhaled and let his hands fall to his sides as his eyes dropped to meet mine. “That I was developing feelings for you.”

Just my heartbeat. That’s all I heard. The slow thump of my heart as all the blood in my veins slowed down.

“She hung it over my head, threatening to tell my school.”

More heartbeat. Holy shit. I could not believe I was hearing this. I looked up at him, my face hot and wet. “Wait. Say that again.”

“Natalie, I am so sorry.” He took a step into me. “Not telling you was the biggest mistake of my life.”

Ryan

“Say something.” She was silent as she stared down at the space between us. “Please.”

She opened her mouth as if to say something, and then she closed it again.

“Just tell me one thing. Why’d you come tonight? Why’d you come to the hospital?”

She wouldn’t look up at me. “I needed answers. I had to ask you why you did it.”

“No. You didn’t. You could have asked me that on the phone. So why did you show up?”

She glanced at me, her eyes glossy.

---